Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information?
Sample Response
The developments in computers and the internet have created an impeccable impact on electronic content people produce and consume. The interesting question to address is the capability of digital content to replace the physical books. I strongly believe that technology advancements in web and computers have good chances of replacing written text as the primary source of knowledge leading to better individual and social benefits. Firstly, accessibility to knowledge is the main advantage of digital content. For example, any challenged individual has access to electronic content easily in the form of the digital music player like iPod listening to podcasts. In addition, there has been a recent development in the mobile phones with multiple language supports that in combination with the social networking sites like Facebook facilitates the generation of online content in their native languages. Language developments have improved since the invention of speech to text converter software that converts the person's voice into text. Additionally, several people have taken blogging as a hobby that generates a huge amount of electronic content for others to consume. Secondly, there has been a change in the teaching methodology giving more importance to the electronic assignments and online lectures. During olden days, students have to attend classroom lectures to understand the subject area but now several university lectures are given online and available to students throughout the day. Buying a physical story book or education related books are becoming outdated, as everyone prefers to buy an electronic version of the book and load it on their e-book readers or tablet computers. In conclusion, based on the individual and social benefits created by the digital content and internet, I strongly believe that electronic content with World Wide Web will replace physical books as the primary source of knowledge.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article choice Original: The developments in computers and the internet Suggested revision: Developments in computers and the internet Why it matters: The general plural noun developments does not need The here.
- 2. Wrong adjective Original: impeccable impact Suggested revision: significant impact Why it matters: Impeccable means flawless and does not collocate with impact in this context.
- 3. Missing relative Original: electronic content people produce and consume Suggested revision: the electronic content that people produce and consume Why it matters: Adding that makes the noun phrase clearer.
- 4. Article choice Original: the physical books Suggested revision: physical books Why it matters: Use physical books without the article when speaking generally.
- 5. Natural phrase Original: technology advancements in web and computers Suggested revision: advances in web technology and computers Why it matters: The replacement is a more natural collocation.
- 6. More academic Original: have good chances of replacing Suggested revision: are likely to replace Why it matters: Are likely to replace is clearer and more formal.
- 7. Missing comma Original: knowledge leading Suggested revision: knowledge, leading Why it matters: A comma helps separate the result phrase from the main clause.
- 8. Natural noun Original: accessibility to knowledge Suggested revision: access to knowledge Why it matters: Access to knowledge is the standard phrase.
- 9. Unnatural wording Original: any challenged individual Suggested revision: a person with a disability Why it matters: The original phrase is unclear and not idiomatic.
- 10. Article and example Original: the digital music player like iPod Suggested revision: a digital music player such as an iPod Why it matters: The phrase needs the correct article and a natural example marker.
- 11. Plural structure Original: there has been a recent development in the mobile phones Suggested revision: mobile phones have recently developed Why it matters: The original structure is awkward and incorrectly uses the before mobile phones.
- 12. Wrong noun form Original: multiple language supports Suggested revision: support for multiple languages Why it matters: Support is normally uncountable in this technology context.
Suggested Rewrites
- The developments in computers and the internet Developments in computers and the internet
- impeccable impact significant impact
- electronic content people produce and consume the electronic content that people produce and consume
- the physical books physical books
- technology advancements in web and computers advances in web technology and computers
- have good chances of replacing are likely to replace
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion that digital content and the internet are likely to replace physical books as the main source of information. It supports the view with relevant examples about access, language tools, blogging, online lectures, and e-books, though the discussion focuses more on books than on the wider written word.
Directly address both parts of the wording: books and the written word. Add one sentence explaining whether digital text replaces paper format only, or whether it changes written communication itself.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress from accessibility to education, and the conclusion restates the position. However, the whole essay is presented as one block, transitions are basic, and several long sentences carry too many ideas at once.
Split the response into four paragraphs and make each body paragraph begin with one clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate and topic-related, with terms such as electronic content, podcasts, social networking sites, online lectures, and e-book readers. Lexical accuracy is uneven, with unnatural phrases such as impeccable impact, challenged individual, and language supports.
Use more natural technology vocabulary: significant impact, people with disabilities, multilingual support, speech-to-text software, and digital sources of information.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses several complex sentence forms, but errors in articles, plural forms, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement occur regularly. Meaning remains mostly clear, but some sentences need better control.
Shorten the longest sentences and check subject-verb agreement after compound subjects and plural nouns.