Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to the individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Music is considered foodconsidered as the foods for our souls and its relationship with the human racewith human race is so intense that we cannot think of a single country or society that does not have its own music. Music is related to our relaxation, our festivalsfestival, our national pride, prayer, daily activities, joys, celebration and many important aspects of our personal and social life. I believe that music created for artistic expressionpure music is always pleasing and brings benefits to both society and culture. The negative effect of music is often overstatedso unheard of and I believe that we need music for our personal motivation, festivals, celebration, different occasions and expressing our inner joys and respect for things we love.
First of all, music is a form of joy which is tied towith our existence. It is a form of expression which can be understood and shared across language barriersexpressed so easily. Possibly music is the only form of art that we can feel so deeply and need in every part of our personal and social life. Music is the composition of lyrics, melody, instruments, feelings and experience that articulate our life and we have our favourite music based on our understanding and preference. Other art formsOther forms of arts are restricted within a perimeter but music has no boundaries—it livesboundaries- it lives beyond ages and borders.
Positive influences of music are enormous – it heals our woundswound, it motivates us, it refreshes our mind, it reminds us of our pastreminds us our past and the list goes on and on. The music a society or country adopts reflects its traditions, cultures, history and unique features. The national anthem- which is also a piece of musica music- is revered by all the countrymen and inspires people. Music is a part of prayer in many religions and cultures.
Now if we judge how music can bring negative effects, which I do not agree with, we will have to consider the people who are basically claiming it. When people say that foreign music is harmful to a particular tradition, they are not actually complaining about the music, rather people’s choice of music. The generation gap is another reason that can bring up the opinions that modern music is harmful to young people. That is something I also disagree with.That’s something I also disagree. This generation gap has existed throughout historyexists in all centuries and it is pretty common that older generations complainolder generation would complain about the choice made by the new generation, especially in music.
Finally, it is really hard to find an individual who does not like music. His music choice might be different but his overall need and feelings for music are positive. The music is an important part of a society and every society has its relationship with music. The music reflects a society and the unique way of life in that society.
In conclusion, I think music plays an important role in our life and its relationship with a society or country is unparalleled. The negative effects of music on individuals or society areThe negative effects of music on an individual or society is a rare issue which we can easily control with our love to our own tradition. The positive aspects of music and its need in our life are endless.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay offers a clear positive position and develops the benefits of music for individuals, communities, culture, and religion with sustained fluency. Its principal weakness is task balance: the negative view is mostly dismissed as generational misunderstanding rather than seriously explained, so one side of the discussion remains underdeveloped. Add concrete potential harms, then rebut them, while tightening repetition and correcting recurrent article, agreement, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The positive view and personal opinion are well developed, but the negative view receives limited and partly dismissive treatment.
Explain plausible harms such as offensive lyrics, excessive volume, or commercial pressure before giving a reasoned rebuttal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well paragraphed and generally easy to follow, though several paragraphs repeat the same positive claim.
Reduce repetition and make the negative-view paragraph a genuine contrasting stage.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and expressive, but frequent inaccurate collocations and plural forms reduce precision.
Prefer natural phrases such as food for the soul, heal wounds, and remember the past.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used, but articles, agreement, prepositions, and punctuation are inconsistently controlled.
Check singular-plural agreement and articles around general abstract nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to the individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.