As we are facing more and more problems which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before.
Sample Response
The concept of country, territory and dividing area were made by human throughout the ages but the mother planet Earth is a single entity and if it faces a problem, the whole world would be affected from that. The world is facing more problems, both human-created and natural, that ever and if the world can’t stand in a single ground to work towards the betterment of the world we would not survive for a long. In my opinion, the countries must work together to make the world a better place to live in.
First of all, the unity among the countries of the world has become more important than ever. Without the concrete relationship and the mentality to work together, the world would turn out to be a very difficult place to live in. While one nation has the abundance of natural resource and luxury to live a lavish life, others are suffering from very basic problems like foods, power supply and that’s inhuman to let it happen. The relationship among countries is important to maintain the peace throughout the world. We have never been attacked by the Aliens and it was us who killed millions of people in the World Wars. We dropped atom bombs to kill the innocent people only because they were ruled by a different government who had a different policy. If we continue to let it happen, countries would start more devastating fights against each other and that would be threatening for the whole world.
The problems the mother earth is facing like flood, earthquake and average temperature increase are not the problems for a single country. It is a problem for all the nations and they should work together to face it.
The countries of the world have volatile economic structure nowadays and no country can guarantee a solid economic stability for the coming ages. The only solution to the survival of nations is to work hands on hands. The poor nations who are deprived of many basic needs would become an enemy of the neighbouring country who has better life standard and thus more terrorist would emerge. To solve this problem, the rich countries should help increase the economic conditions of those poor countries.
In conclusion, I repeat the well-known proverb ‘United we stand, Divided we fall.’ This is true for our world as well since we don’t know what difficulties are coming to attack us and we must work together to face it and to survive.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural concepts Original: The concept of country, territory and dividing area Suggested revision: The concepts of countries, territories and borders Why it matters: The plural subject and parallel plural nouns correctly express several human-made concepts.
- 2. Use plural human noun Original: were made by human Suggested revision: were created by humans Why it matters: Humans needs the plural form when referring to people generally.
- 3. Use precise time phrase Original: throughout the ages Suggested revision: over the centuries Why it matters: This phrase expresses the long historical development more precisely.
- 4. Remove awkward metaphor Original: the mother planet Earth Suggested revision: planet Earth Why it matters: The concise term is clearer and more appropriate for formal prose.
- 5. Correct passive preposition Original: affected from that Suggested revision: affected by it Why it matters: The passive construction affected requires by rather than from.
- 6. Fix comparison word Original: that ever Suggested revision: than ever Why it matters: Comparatives such as more require than.
- 7. Correct the idiom Original: stand in a single ground Suggested revision: unite Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic English for countries acting together.
- 8. Complete time phrase Original: for a long Suggested revision: for long Why it matters: In this negative construction, survive for long is the natural form.
- 9. Remove generic article Original: the countries must work together Suggested revision: countries must work together Why it matters: Countries used generally does not take the definite article.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: the concrete relationship Suggested revision: strong relationships Why it matters: Strong relationships is the natural expression for effective ties between nations.
- 11. Correct noun forms Original: the abundance of natural resource Suggested revision: abundant natural resources Why it matters: The revision uses the appropriate adjective and plural count noun.
- 12. Use uncountable food Original: foods Suggested revision: food Why it matters: Food is normally uncountable when referring to a basic need generally.
Suggested Rewrites
- The concept of country, territory and dividing area The concepts of countries, territories and borders
- were made by human were created by humans
- throughout the ages over the centuries
- the mother planet Earth planet Earth
- affected from that affected by it
- that ever than ever
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant reasons for international cooperation, with the discussion of peace and shared global problems providing its strongest support. However, some claims are generalized or only briefly explained, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision; the priority is to develop fewer ideas more rigorously while revising agreement, reference, and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A consistent position is supported through relevant arguments about peace, global threats, and economic inequality, though development is uneven and sometimes generalized.
Select the strongest two reasons and extend each with a precise causal explanation and a credible, specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from its position through several supporting themes, but one very short paragraph and some repetition weaken the balance of the structure.
Combine the brief environmental point with fuller explanation and give each body paragraph a clearly developed central idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic with some range, but frequent unnatural combinations and imprecise choices reduce clarity and control.
Use standard collocations such as 'stand together,' 'work hand in hand,' and 'raise living standards,' and check noun forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and reference remain noticeable.
Prioritize subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, then proofread complex sentences for complete and accurately connected clauses.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.