Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people think universities should make it easier for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is believed that students who come from a low-income family background or remote areas find some difficulties in continuing their undergraduate and graduate studies, therefore it is suggested that college and universities should provide special pathways for them. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but there should be additional requirements that these students must fulfil and the following essay will discuss it in details.
On the one hand, many students who come from a poor family or live in a rural area found some difficulties in entering universities. It is mostly due to the low quality of secondary education. The low-class students could only enrol to low-quality schools, while for those who live in remote areas, they are taught by junior teachers, who are still gaining some teaching experiences. As a result, they could not get the maximum quality education that they should get, and could not compete with other students when they participate in the registration test for entering universities. Therefore, it is suggested that post-secondary institutions should allocate some seats and provide some subsidy for them.
However, despite the special pathways, the institutions should provide some entry tests and academic background checking for these students. Universities must ensure that these students have some potential and eagerness to learn, and they have good academic scores in their secondary school studies, therefore the allocated seats and subsidised funds would not be a waste. This filter is a must since many of these students are entering universities but they are serious about learning and studying.
In conclusion, it is a fact that students from low economy background or live in rural areas find difficulties in entering post-secondary schools. Many people suggested that these institutions should give special pathways for them. I do agree with the statement, but some test should be given to these students, therefore only those who are serious in studying will be enrolled.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: find some difficulties Suggested revision: experience difficulties Why it matters: The verb phrase 'experience difficulties' is the natural academic collocation.
- 2. Match plural nouns Original: college and universities Suggested revision: colleges and universities Why it matters: Both coordinated nouns should be plural when referring to institutions generally.
- 3. Use extent phrase Original: To a certain point Suggested revision: To a certain extent Why it matters: 'To a certain extent' is the standard expression for partial agreement.
- 4. Use fixed expression Original: in details Suggested revision: in detail Why it matters: The fixed adverbial expression is 'in detail'.
- 5. Keep present tense Original: found some difficulties Suggested revision: find it difficult Why it matters: Use the present tense for the continuing situation described here.
- 6. Use precise description Original: The low-class students Suggested revision: Students from low-income families Why it matters: 'Low-income families' expresses the intended economic meaning accurately and respectfully.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: enrol to low-quality schools Suggested revision: enrol in lower-quality schools Why it matters: The verb 'enrol' takes 'in' when followed by an institution.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: some teaching experiences Suggested revision: some teaching experience Why it matters: 'Experience' is uncountable when it means accumulated professional practice.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: maximum quality education Suggested revision: highest-quality education Why it matters: 'Highest-quality education' is the natural expression for the best available standard.
- 10. Use concise term Original: registration test for entering universities Suggested revision: university entrance examination Why it matters: This concise term communicates the intended admissions test more naturally.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: provide some subsidy Suggested revision: provide financial subsidies Why it matters: A plural or uncountable form is needed for support offered to multiple students.
- 12. Use natural noun phrase Original: academic background checking Suggested revision: checks of their academic backgrounds Why it matters: This noun phrase is idiomatic and makes the object of the checks clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- find some difficulties experience difficulties
- college and universities colleges and universities
- To a certain point To a certain extent
- in details in detail
- found some difficulties find it difficult
- The low-class students Students from low-income families
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear, qualified agreement and supports it with relevant discussion of educational disadvantage, reserved places, subsidies, and admissions checks. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise wording and grammatical error, alongside one confusing sentence about whether entrants are serious students; prioritise clearer sentence control and more precise explanation of how the proposed safeguards would work.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents a clear qualified position and develops relevant reasons for widening access while retaining entry safeguards.
Explain the proposed eligibility checks more concretely and correct the confusing claim about whether admitted students are serious about studying.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure supports a generally clear progression from access barriers to a conditional solution.
Use more precise logical links within sentences and reduce repetitive conclusion wording so the argument flows more naturally.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of relevant education and admissions vocabulary, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as low-class students and low economy background with precise, natural academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, although agreement, tense, article, and clause-control errors recur.
Edit each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and complete clause relationships, especially around therefore and but.