It is more important for a building to serve a purpose than to look beautiful. Architects, therefore, should not worry about producing buildings as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Buildings have both structural and functional purposes but which one is more important - the structure or the function of a building is debatable. Some people opine that a building should primarily fulfil its utilitarian purposes rather than look artistic. I agree with this opinion as I believe that in the modern age, serving practical purposes is far more important for a building than being appealing in appearance.
To commence with, the world is already facing a scarcity of housing, and affordable accommodation is a distant dream for many. Thus, the need for living, shopping and doing community activities has become far more important than erecting buildings to make a neighbourhood look stunning. For instance, modern cities like New York or Hongkong need more multipurpose skyscrapers to accommodate the increasing population and check the soaring housing prices while also serving people's practical needs. If the city planners and architects in those modern cities intend on constructing buildings that resemble medieval European architecture to enhance the impression of their neighbourhoods, they would soon regret their decisions.
Moreover, futuristic vertical city concepts will become the norm in the near future in most cities. Those vertical cities will house lengthy skyscrapers and accommodate thousands of apartments, shopping centres, schools, parks, offices, and so on in a single building. The design would focus on serving practical purposes rather than being aesthetically appealing. This is why modern architects should adapt to these futuristic but practical needs rather than producing works of art when they plan and design buildings for modern cities. If they keep planning for visual appeals, they would fail to remain mainstream.
In conclusion, in a modern world where the population is staggeringly high and the demand for affordable housing is not met, designing and constructing buildings that serve practical and functional purposes are far more important for architects and designers. They should, therefore, prioritise functionality above the grandeur of these constructions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular purpose Original: fulfil its utilitarian purposes Suggested revision: fulfil its utilitarian purpose Why it matters: The singular form is more concise when describing a building's general function.
- 2. Refine adjective pairing Original: rather than look artistic Suggested revision: rather than appear artistic Why it matters: Appear collocates more naturally with an adjective describing outward design.
- 3. Remove redundant framing Original: as I believe that Suggested revision: because Why it matters: Because states the reason directly without repeating the writer's personal stance.
- 4. Use concise time phrase Original: in the modern age Suggested revision: in the modern era Why it matters: Modern era is a slightly more concise formal expression for the same period.
- 5. Sharpen functional wording Original: serving practical purposes Suggested revision: meeting practical needs Why it matters: Meeting practical needs expresses the intended function more directly.
- 6. Remove lexical repetition Original: being appealing in appearance Suggested revision: being visually appealing Why it matters: Visually appealing avoids repeating the same idea in appealing and appearance.
- 7. Use natural signpost Original: To commence with Suggested revision: To begin with Why it matters: To begin with is the more natural signpost for the first supporting point.
- 8. Use concise collocation Original: a scarcity of housing Suggested revision: a housing shortage Why it matters: Housing shortage is the standard concise expression for insufficient accommodation.
- 9. Correct activity collocation Original: doing community activities Suggested revision: participating in community activities Why it matters: People participate in activities rather than do them in this formal context.
- 10. Condense aesthetic aim Original: to make a neighbourhood look stunning Suggested revision: to beautify a neighbourhood Why it matters: Beautify expresses the same aesthetic purpose more concisely.
- 11. Formalise examples Original: modern cities like Suggested revision: modern cities such as Why it matters: Such as is a precise formal marker for the examples that follow.
- 12. Correct place name Original: Hongkong Suggested revision: Hong Kong Why it matters: The city's English name is written as two words.
Suggested Rewrites
- fulfil its utilitarian purposes fulfil its utilitarian purpose
- rather than look artistic rather than appear artistic
- as I believe that because
- in the modern age in the modern era
- serving practical purposes meeting practical needs
- being appealing in appearance being visually appealing
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a consistent position and develops it through relevant arguments about housing pressure, multipurpose buildings, and future vertical cities, with a clear logical progression. Its main limitation is some repetition between the two body paragraphs and a handful of imprecise expressions that slightly reduce sophistication. To improve further, distinguish the supporting arguments more sharply and acknowledge how functional design can still incorporate aesthetic value.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and supported with relevant, well-developed arguments about housing demand and practical urban design.
Add a brief concession about the possible value of aesthetics to make the argument more nuanced without weakening the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised and progresses smoothly, although the body paragraphs overlap somewhat in their emphasis on practical urban needs.
Give each body paragraph a more distinct function, such as present housing pressures first and future planning requirements second.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic vocabulary is used effectively, with occasional imprecise choices such as lengthy skyscrapers and visual appeals.
Refine collocations by using natural alternatives such as high-rise towers, aesthetic appeal, and moderate rising housing costs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally well controlled, while the few grammatical slips do not impede communication.
Polish punctuation in long opening sentences and check preposition and agreement choices during final editing.