Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.
Sample Response
It seems like the world is becoming smaller and smaller almost by the minutes. When I was a child I could not imagine to meet someone from another part of the planet. However, now I have a few friends from Africa, I can meet many Chinese people on the streets, have dinner at a Mexican restaurant, buy some delicious cookies at a cafe run by the French. It is really wonderful and amazing to see people from all over the world, communicate and work with them. I agree with those people who move a number of times throughout their lives. However, I believe that people who spend their entire lives in one place have many advantages too. First of all, I will focus on the reasons why I support the idea of moving and then I will move on to analysing the opportunities that people have staying at one place. Personally, I think that the first and most obvious reason to move from one place to another is to see the world. Of cause, this can be obtained by travelling. Nevertheless, travelling does not give the opportunity to immerse into traditions, customs and just the way of life of the country. It is like seeing beautiful looking boots on a show-window and does not try them on to see if they are comfortable. The second reason for moving is the opportunity to gain new experience and knowledge. One can meet new people and new friends, extend one's range of interests. Also, one can find a better job, life conditions and even climate. For example, my husband like the warm and sunny weather. So his dream is to live here in Texas a half of the year and move to Australia for another half of the year to catch warm months. One more example, my aunt does not feel good in sultry and humid weather. So she had to move several times to find a place where she feels comfortable. From the other side, this way of life has some disadvantages. For instance, it is difficult to make a good career if one is constantly moving. Of cause, it does not concern celebrities on their tours. Also, it is not good for children because they will have to change their schools a few times. Staying in one place has a plenty of advantages too. I must confess that I am closer to the people who do not move much. I prefer to have a permanent home with my old and favourite things, have a dog and a beautiful view from the window. In conclusion, I think that every person is always looking for something better than he already has. So, if people live in one place through their entire lives it means that they are looking for something else.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular idiom Original: almost by the minutes Suggested revision: almost by the minute Why it matters: The fixed time expression uses the singular form ‘minute’.
- 2. Use gerund complement Original: imagine to meet Suggested revision: imagine meeting Why it matters: ‘Imagine’ is followed by a gerund when describing a possible experience.
- 3. Make structure parallel Original: to see people from all over the world, communicate and work with them Suggested revision: to see people from all over the world and to communicate and work with them Why it matters: Parallel infinitive forms make the coordinated activities grammatically consistent.
- 4. Add time connector Original: people have staying at one place Suggested revision: people have when staying in one place Why it matters: A connector is needed to link the opportunities with the circumstance of staying.
- 5. Correct fixed phrase Original: Of cause, this Suggested revision: Of course, this Why it matters: The correct spelling of the fixed phrase is ‘of course’.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: does not give the opportunity Suggested revision: does not provide an opportunity Why it matters: ‘Provide an opportunity’ is the more natural academic collocation.
- 7. Fix verb pattern Original: immerse into traditions Suggested revision: immerse oneself in traditions Why it matters: The verb requires a reflexive object and the preposition ‘in’.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: new experience and knowledge Suggested revision: new experiences and knowledge Why it matters: The countable noun should be plural when referring to multiple kinds of experience.
- 9. Use correct collocation Original: meet new people and new friends Suggested revision: meet new people and make new friends Why it matters: English uses ‘make friends’ rather than ‘meet friends’ for forming friendships.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: life conditions Suggested revision: living conditions Why it matters: ‘Living conditions’ is the standard expression for the circumstances in which someone lives.
- 11. Fix agreement Original: my husband like Suggested revision: my husband likes Why it matters: A third-person singular subject requires the verb form ‘likes’.
- 12. Remove unnecessary words Original: a half of the year Suggested revision: half the year Why it matters: The natural determiner pattern is ‘half the year’ without ‘a’ or ‘of’.
Suggested Rewrites
- almost by the minutes almost by the minute
- imagine to meet imagine meeting
- to see people from all over the world, communicate and work with them to see people from all over the world and to communicate and work with them
- people have staying at one place people have when staying in one place
- Of cause, this Of course, this
- does not give the opportunity does not provide an opportunity
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its use of relevant personal examples to explain the attractions and drawbacks of moving. Its main limitation is an inconsistent position: it initially supports moving, later identifies more closely with staying, and ends without clearly resolving that choice. The highest-priority improvement is to state one qualified preference, sustain it throughout clearly separated paragraphs, and make the conclusion directly confirm it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both lifestyles and supplies relevant examples, but its preference changes and the final conclusion does not answer the choice directly.
State a consistent preference in the introduction and make every main point and the conclusion clearly support that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress through the advantages and disadvantages of moving before considering stability, although the single-block presentation and mechanical signposting weaken organisation.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use transitions to show relationships between ideas instead of announcing each stage.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes specific, but recurring spelling and collocation errors such as "Of cause" and "life conditions" reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate collocations and proofread recurring word-choice and spelling errors, using forms such as "of course" and "living conditions".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, but agreement, article, infinitive, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement, article use, verb patterns, and complete clause structure before submitting.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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