The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some countries are developing their nuclear weapons these days, and it becomes a serious threat to the world peace. But it is undeniable that nuclear technology is clean for the environment and offers low-cost energy source. Therefore a lot of people believe that nuclear technology has more positive sides than its negatives. I personally disagree with the statement and the following essay will discuss in details about it. To begin with, even though nuclear power could be used as an alternative source of energy, but some parties could misuse the technology. Nuclear power plants can be used as propaganda by some countries, whereas they will tell the public that they only use the technology for power generation purposes. But, the public would never know what lies behind their plants, as they might be developing an advanced and sophisticated nuclear weapons. And then, although nuclear power plants are safe to the environment and cheaper in cost, many people still believe that they are a serious threat to the surrounding areas. Some countries have tried to manage their nuclear power plants cautiously, but sometimes unexpected events happen and cause a serious effect on the surrounding areas. For example, it is undeniable that Japan is well known for its advanced, effective and modern nuclear technology. But in the year 2010, a tsunami had struck one of the country’s power plants, and as a consequence, it caused a leakage in the plants and many casualties were found. I believe that that weapon of much destruction is always a threat to the world and it is hard to believe that a weapon can maintain world peace. The history tells us how the weapons have destroyed millions of lives and have caused severe damage to our environment. In conclusion, although nuclear technology could be used as a clean and cheap source of energy, I strongly disagree with it. Even though strict monitoring is made sure for those nuclear plant and research centres, some countries might secretly use it as a weapon. And then, no matter how well the power plants are built, they could still be a threat for our civilisations, as we could never predict that any natural disaster could hit these power plants anytime.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix tense and reference Original: it becomes a serious threat Suggested revision: this development has become a serious threat Why it matters: The revision gives “it” a clear reference and uses a tense consistent with an ongoing development.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: the world peace Suggested revision: world peace Why it matters: “World peace” is used without the definite article in this general sense.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: clean for the environment Suggested revision: environmentally clean Why it matters: “Environmentally clean” is the natural phrase for energy with limited environmental harm.
- 4. Add missing article Original: offers low-cost energy source Suggested revision: offers a low-cost energy source Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase “energy source” requires an article.
- 5. Use parallel terms Original: more positive sides than its negatives Suggested revision: more benefits than drawbacks Why it matters: “Benefits” and “drawbacks” form a clear and parallel comparison.
- 6. Correct discuss pattern Original: discuss in details about it Suggested revision: discuss it in detail Why it matters: “Discuss” takes a direct object, and the fixed phrase is “in detail.”
- 7. Avoid double conjunction Original: but some parties could misuse Suggested revision: some parties could misuse Why it matters: “Even though” already introduces the concession, so “but” is redundant.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: used as propaganda Suggested revision: used for propaganda Why it matters: The intended purpose is expressed with “used for,” not “used as.”
- 9. Use logical linker Original: whereas they will tell the public Suggested revision: while claiming to the public Why it matters: “Whereas” introduces a contrast between clauses, but this clause describes the countries’ accompanying claim.
- 10. Fix transition punctuation Original: But, the public Suggested revision: However, the public Why it matters: “However” is a more suitable formal transition and correctly takes a following comma.
- 11. Fix number agreement Original: an advanced and sophisticated nuclear weapons Suggested revision: advanced and sophisticated nuclear weapons Why it matters: The plural noun “weapons” cannot be preceded by the singular article “an.”
- 12. Use formal addition Original: And then, although Suggested revision: Moreover, although Why it matters: “Moreover” links the additional disadvantage more precisely than the sequential phrase “and then.”
Suggested Rewrites
- it becomes a serious threat this development has become a serious threat
- the world peace world peace
- clean for the environment environmentally clean
- offers low-cost energy source offers a low-cost energy source
- more positive sides than its negatives more benefits than drawbacks
- discuss in details about it discuss it in detail
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant objections to nuclear technology, including misuse and accident risk. However, the discussion is presented as one long paragraph, several claims and the Japan example lack precision, and recurring collocation and grammar problems weaken control. Prioritise paragraphing the two arguments separately and editing article, agreement, and noun-form errors while making supporting evidence more accurate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response directly disagrees and develops relevant arguments about weaponisation and plant accidents, though some support is imprecise.
Use a factually accurate example and explain more explicitly how each risk outweighs the stated energy benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence, but absent paragraphing and repetitive linking make the progression less controlled.
Give weapon misuse and accident risk separate body paragraphs and replace repeated opening linkers with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic-specific range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms limit lexical precision.
Use more natural combinations for environmental safety, accident consequences, strict oversight, and weapons of mass destruction.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is understandable, although article, agreement, plurality, and clause-pattern errors recur.
Edit systematically for articles and singular-plural agreement, and avoid combining although or even though with but.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.