In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Sample Response
It is a fact that in many countries the government set some standards about safe workplaces, such as wearing some protection gears in the workplace. I personally support the idea of working in a safe condition and believe that this is an essential part of a healthy work environment, and the following essay will discuss it in details.
To begin with, it is true that in certain countries, the government is concerned with a safe work environment. As injuries and accidents at work have been frequently reported, the government set some policies about safety at work, which covers so many aspects. One of the examples is that heavy industry companies should provide their workers with the appropriate safety equipment as the risk of being injured at work is high in this industry. In another example, drivers of special vehicles such as bulldozer or forklift must have a registered certificate or a special license, as driving these vehicles requires special techniques.
If I have the authority to set some regulations about safety, I would set these kinds of policies. Firstly, every company should make a report about health, safe and green environment in their workplace. This report should be submitted to the authority on an annual basis, and companies who fail to submit their report on time will be charged with penalties. Secondly, there would be a regulation about safety audit. The government should set some audit teams, which will inspect companies’ safety environment during their work hour. Companies with unsatisfactory audit result must be reassessed during the renewal of their business licenses. By having these two policies, it is hoped that companies will implement a safe and healthy working environment in their workplace.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that safety at work is an important thing, as many governments have set some specific rules about it. Should I be the authorised person, I would make some safety regulations which enforce companies to make a timely safety report, and conduct safety audits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Agreement and tense Original: in many countries the government set Suggested revision: in many countries, the government sets Why it matters: The singular subject requires a singular present-tense verb, and the introductory phrase needs a comma.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: protection gears Suggested revision: protective gear Why it matters: Gear is uncountable in this meaning, and protective is the natural modifier.
- 3. Use plural conditions Original: a safe condition Suggested revision: safe conditions Why it matters: The plural form more naturally refers to general workplace circumstances.
- 4. Correct fixed phrase Original: in details Suggested revision: in detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is in detail, with the singular noun.
- 5. Match plural antecedent Original: which covers so many aspects Suggested revision: which cover many aspects Why it matters: The relative verb should agree with the plural noun policies.
- 6. Add articles Original: such as bulldozer or forklift Suggested revision: such as a bulldozer or forklift Why it matters: Singular countable examples require an article.
- 7. Choose natural collocation Original: registered certificate Suggested revision: valid certificate Why it matters: Valid certificate is the natural collocation for an officially accepted qualification.
- 8. Use precise wording Original: special techniques Suggested revision: specialised skills Why it matters: Skills more precisely describes the abilities required to operate these vehicles.
- 9. Use hypothetical form Original: If I have the authority Suggested revision: If I had the authority Why it matters: A hypothetical future situation requires the past form in the if-clause.
- 10. Use parallel modifiers Original: health, safe and green environment Suggested revision: a healthy, safe and green environment Why it matters: The list needs parallel adjectives and an article before the singular countable noun.
- 11. Use relative pronoun Original: companies who fail Suggested revision: companies that fail Why it matters: That is the appropriate relative pronoun for companies in this restrictive clause.
- 12. Correct penalty collocation Original: will be charged with penalties Suggested revision: will face penalties Why it matters: Face penalties is the natural expression for receiving a sanction.
Suggested Rewrites
- in many countries the government set in many countries, the government sets
- protection gears protective gear
- a safe condition safe conditions
- in details in detail
- which covers so many aspects which cover many aspects
- such as bulldozer or forklift such as a bulldozer or forklift
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and develops two concrete, logically organised policy proposals, which is its strongest feature. Its main limitation is that the case for existing safety laws remains fairly general, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain more fully how such laws protect workers and employers, using a specific consequence or example, then proofread agreement, number, and word-form choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both parts are addressed with a clear supportive position and relevant proposed regulations, although the benefits of existing laws are explained only generally.
Develop the justification for safety legislation with a specific cause-and-effect explanation or a concrete outcome for workers and employers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and conclusion, though some linking language is formulaic.
Use more natural referencing and transitions to connect examples and consequences without repeatedly relying on set sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of workplace and regulatory vocabulary, but recurrent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Improve control of phrases such as safety equipment, workplace safety, working hours, and health and safety reports.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but agreement, article, number, and conditional errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and singular-plural consistency, especially with government, policies, companies, and results.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.