In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Sample Response
It is a fact that in many countries, the government setsin many countries the government set some standards about safe workplaces, such as wearing some protective gearprotection gears in the workplace. I personally support the idea of working in safe conditionsa safe condition and believe that this is an essential part of a healthy work environment, and the following essay will discuss it in detaildetails.
To begin with, it is true that in certain countries, the government is concerned with a safe work environment. As injuries and accidents at work have been frequently reported, the government set some policies about safety at work, which cover many aspectswhich covers so many aspects. One of the examples is that heavy industry companies should provide their workers with the appropriate safety equipment as the risk of being injured at work is high in this industry. In another example, drivers of special vehicles such as a bulldozer or forkliftsuch as bulldozer or forklift must have a validregistered certificate or a special license, as driving these vehicles requires specialised skillsspecial techniques.
If I hadhave the authority to set some regulations about safety, I would set these kinds of policies. Firstly, every company should make a report about a healthy, safe and green environmenthealth, safe and green environment in their workplace. This report should be submitted to the authority on an annual basis, and companies thatwho fail to submit their report on time will face penaltieswill be charged with penalties. Secondly, there would be a regulation about safety auditsaudit. The government should establish audit teamsset some audit teams, which will inspect companies’ safety environment during working hoursduring their work hour. Companies with unsatisfactory audit result must be reassessed during the renewal of their business licenses. By having these two policies, it is hoped that companies will implement a safe and healthy working environment in their workplace.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that safety at work is an important thing, as many governments have set some specific rules about it. Should I be the authorised person, I would make some safety regulations which enforce companies to make a timely safety report, and conduct safety audits.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and develops two concrete, logically organised policy proposals, which is its strongest feature. Its main limitation is that the case for existing safety laws remains fairly general, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to explain more fully how such laws protect workers and employers, using a specific consequence or example, then proofread agreement, number, and word-form choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are addressed with a clear supportive position and relevant proposed regulations, although the benefits of existing laws are explained only generally.
Develop the justification for safety legislation with a specific cause-and-effect explanation or a concrete outcome for workers and employers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, focused body paragraphs, and conclusion, though some linking language is formulaic.
Use more natural referencing and transitions to connect examples and consequences without repeatedly relying on set sequencing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of workplace and regulatory vocabulary, but recurrent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Improve control of phrases such as safety equipment, workplace safety, working hours, and health and safety reports.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, but agreement, article, number, and conditional errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and singular-plural consistency, especially with government, policies, companies, and results.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, government safety laws include things such as wearing a hard hat on a building site or wearing safety clothes in certain factories. To what extent are laws of this kind good idea? What sort of safety law would you introduce, if you were given a chance?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.