Over the past few decades, with the help of the internet, an unimaginable amount of information has become widely available to the general public. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Sample Response
With the rapid development of internet technology, people have access to various kinds of information these days. Some people believe that it brings so many benefits for the public, while others disagree with it. The following essay will discuss the pros and the cons but I believe that it has more advantages than the disadvantages.
It is true that with the existence of online technology, a vast amount of information has been connected together and this information is open to the public. A group of people believe that this development has negative effects on individuals and societies. As the internet could provide any information to anyone, people could misuse it. One of the examples, a terrorist could learn how to make bombs through the web, as some websites provide this kind of information. Consequently, the number of terrorist attacks has increased rapidly in the past few years. Another example is that some websites are providing illicit videos or violence scenes to public, which would have physiological effects on children and teenagers.
On the other hand, another group of people believe that the Internet and open information technology have brought many benefits for human kinds. Firstly, with the easy access to information, it helps students and scholars in doing their paper works and assignments. With the existence of various search engines such as Bing and Google, they could search any data that are correlated to their tasks. Secondly, people could use the online technology for learning. Many educational institutions are providing online courses these days, which help people who are busy or live in remote areas but enthusiastic in learning. Again, the internet also provides job postings which are available for the public. It is a fact that websites such as indeed or jobsdb have helped millions of job seekers in finding a job. Finally, internet technology not only provides information to public but also bring them together. Thus social websites help people learn new information and protest any event they do not like. Information is power and when people are connected with it, they will become more educated, informed and cautious and an educated and informed generation would be able to build a better world.
In conclusion, with the existence of internet technology, people could have access to various kinds of information these days. It is undeniable that the development has some of its advantages and disadvantages to our life and society. I personally believe that it has more benefits for us rather than the drawbacks, as long as we use it for positive activities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the preposition Original: benefits for the public Suggested revision: benefits to the public Why it matters: Benefits in the sense of advantages are normally brought to a recipient.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: disagree with it Suggested revision: disagree with this view Why it matters: This view identifies the preceding claim more clearly than the vague pronoun it.
- 3. Remove repeated article Original: the pros and the cons Suggested revision: the pros and cons Why it matters: One article can govern both coordinated plural nouns in this fixed pairing.
- 4. Match comparative nouns Original: more advantages than the disadvantages Suggested revision: more advantages than disadvantages Why it matters: The unnecessary article disrupts the balanced comparison between two general plurals.
- 5. Choose accurate verb Original: information has been connected together Suggested revision: information has been brought together Why it matters: Information can be brought together, whereas connected together is unnatural in this context.
- 6. Use general singular Original: individuals and societies Suggested revision: individuals and society Why it matters: Society is normally uncountable when referring generally to the social whole.
- 7. Use factual modal Original: the internet could provide Suggested revision: the internet can provide Why it matters: Can is appropriate for the present general capability described here.
- 8. Keep modal consistent Original: people could misuse it Suggested revision: people can misuse it Why it matters: Can maintains the present general meaning and matches the preceding claim.
- 9. Use adjective form Original: violence scenes Suggested revision: violent scenes Why it matters: The adjective violent is required to modify scenes.
- 10. Add article and modal Original: to public, which would have Suggested revision: to the public, which can have Why it matters: Public needs the article here, and can expresses the stated general effect.
- 11. Correct the meaning Original: physiological effects Suggested revision: psychological effects Why it matters: Psychological refers to mental effects, while physiological refers to bodily processes.
- 12. Use correct noun Original: human kinds Suggested revision: humankind Why it matters: Humankind is the correct uncountable noun for humanity as a whole.
Suggested Rewrites
- benefits for the public benefits to the public
- disagree with it disagree with this view
- the pros and the cons the pros and cons
- more advantages than the disadvantages more advantages than disadvantages
- information has been connected together information has been brought together
- individuals and societies individuals and society
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both advantages and disadvantages, offers numerous relevant examples, and keeps its position clear throughout. However, the advantages paragraph becomes list-like, while frequent collocation, word-form, article, and agreement problems weaken precision and fluency even though meaning remains clear. The most important improvement is to select fewer points, explain their consequences more fully, and edit recurring language errors rather than accumulating loosely developed examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both sides of the development are addressed with a clear overall view and several relevant explanations and examples.
Develop fewer advantages in greater depth and avoid unsupported causal claims, particularly the assertion linking online information directly to rising terrorism.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall progression is clear and paragraphing separates the two sides, but the long advantages paragraph relies on mechanical listing.
Group related benefits into distinct logical units and use transitions that express relationships rather than repeatedly sequencing points.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss technology, education, employment, and social effects, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Correct expressions such as 'psychological effects,' 'humankind,' and 'coursework,' and check prepositions and countability in common academic phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, pronouns, and clause construction limit control.
Review subject-verb agreement and article use, then revise incomplete or overloaded sentences so each clause has a clear grammatical subject.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over the past few decades, with the help of the internet, an unimaginable amount of information has become widely available to the general public. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.