Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Robots are likely to become as ubiquitous as the smartphone computers we all carry in our future society. While some people argue that robots might have negative impacts on the future society, personally I believe that the benefits of the robot are likely to outweigh the negative aspects of it. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it could be argued that robots might have adverse effects on society in the future. Firstly, some people believe that robots will have a negative impact on the human workforce. The people will be replaced by machines and this will increase the unemployment rate. As a result, many other problems may emerge such as poverty and increased crimes. Secondly, people will become more dependent on robots in their daily life and this may harmfully affect their skills as cooking and driving. So people become less active and this may result in some health problems like obesity. On the other hand, I would agree with those who argue that robots will play important positive roles in future society. The first role is that robots could operate in locations that humans cannot reach such as exploration of the outer space. They can act as extended eyes for humans enabling them to look beyond their visual boundaries. Moreover, robots will be used inside the human bodies for monitoring their health and undertake surgery. The second role that will be played by robots is the helping of elderly and retired people with their daily life activities like cooking and cleaning. Finally, robots could do normal jobs quickly unlike human beings. Robots don not complain or get distracted or tired. They readily work twenty-four hours and require minimal maintenance. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for in and against the role of robots in our future would, but I believe that the robots will add many benefits to the future society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard noun Original: smartphone computers Suggested revision: smartphones Why it matters: 'Smartphones' is the standard and more concise term for the devices described.
- 2. Avoid awkward possession Original: in our future society Suggested revision: in future society Why it matters: The possessive 'our' is unnecessary in this general prediction.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: the future society Suggested revision: future society Why it matters: The general concept 'future society' does not require the definite article here.
- 4. Use generic plural Original: the benefits of the robot Suggested revision: the benefits of robots Why it matters: A plural noun is needed when referring to robots as a class.
- 5. Use concise reference Original: negative aspects of it Suggested revision: negative effects Why it matters: The revision avoids the unclear singular pronoun and directly names the comparison.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: The people Suggested revision: People Why it matters: 'People' is used generically here and should not take the definite article.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: increased crimes Suggested revision: increased crime Why it matters: 'Crime' is normally uncountable when referring to criminal activity in general.
- 8. Match plural possessive Original: in their daily life Suggested revision: in their daily lives Why it matters: The plural possessive 'their' requires the plural noun 'lives' in this distributive sense.
- 9. Use natural adverb Original: harmfully affect Suggested revision: adversely affect Why it matters: 'Adversely affect' is the standard collocation for causing a negative effect.
- 10. Fix example structure Original: their skills as cooking and driving Suggested revision: their skills in activities such as cooking and driving Why it matters: The revision supplies the required preposition and a grammatical phrase for introducing examples.
- 11. Express result cautiously Original: So people become Suggested revision: As a result, people may become Why it matters: The transition and modal verb correctly present this as a possible consequence of dependence.
- 12. Remove redundancy Original: important positive roles Suggested revision: important roles Why it matters: In this context, the surrounding argument already establishes that the roles are positive.
Suggested Rewrites
- smartphone computers smartphones
- in our future society in future society
- the future society future society
- the benefits of the robot the benefits of robots
- negative aspects of it negative effects
- The people People
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response directly discusses both views, maintains a clear opinion, and supplies several relevant examples of potential risks and benefits. Its strongest feature is the breadth and orderly progression of its ideas, while frequent awkward collocations, grammatical slips, and the lack of paragraph breaks reduce precision and polish. The highest-priority improvement is to organise each view into a separate paragraph and revise inaccurate language combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer’s opinion remains clear, with relevant reasons and examples developed for each side.
Deepen the analysis by explaining fewer examples more fully and explicitly weighing why the benefits outweigh the risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress clearly from disadvantages to benefits and a conclusion, but the response is presented as one long paragraph with mechanical signposting.
Create separate paragraphs for the introduction, each view, and the conclusion, using cohesive devices more selectively within them.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss technological and social effects, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms limit precision.
Revise phrases such as ‘increased crimes’, ‘skills as cooking’, and ‘the helping of elderly people’ into natural academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts a range of complex sentences, but recurring article, agreement, preposition, and construction errors weaken control.
Edit complex clauses systematically for articles, parallel verb forms, and complete structures, especially in sentences listing robot applications.