It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It's well known that some children are born with talents and skills which are very obvious like those who are very talented in playing music from the very early age, or those who have physical and mental power which in fact exceeds their age. In the same context, some people say that these talents are not only found in some children, but in all. They claim that these skills don't appear clearly unless treated in proper ways. While other people believe in natural talents and they opine that talents are something people are born with and what people learn are experience and skills. In my opinion, every child is good more specifically extremely good, in a specific thing, but what is that talent? How can we develop it? Or can we at all develop it?
"He doesn't have an extra foot or hand to be better than you!" - this is a well-known saying which encourages children to develop their skills to catch up with those who are supposed to be talented. Parents and teachers use this common saying just to indicate that someone is not better just because he was chosen at the time of his birth. With efforts, anything can be achieved.
Psychologically, all children have the ability to be good at music or sports, for instance, if they are given appropriate teaching and wise guiding. This doesn't contradict with what is known as natural talents. I believe that these natural talents play an important role in manifesting talents; this can be seen in the fields of music and sports. We can see that most of the stars of sports and the brilliant musician had a natural talent; however, it was treated correctly and finally gave that success.
In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that any child can excel when he gets enough encouragement, guideline, opportunity and proper environment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Article use Original: from the very early age Suggested revision: from a very early age Why it matters: A singular count noun needs an article.
- 2. Linking phrase Original: In the same context Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: This better signals that you are introducing the opposing view.
- 3. Clarify meaning Original: but in all Suggested revision: but in all children Why it matters: The noun is needed to make the reference clear.
- 4. Natural phrasing Original: unless treated in proper ways Suggested revision: unless they are developed in the right way Why it matters: Talents are developed or nurtured, not treated.
- 5. Fragment link Original: While other people believe Suggested revision: Other people, however, believe Why it matters: While creates a dependent clause and leaves the sentence awkward.
- 6. Agreement Original: what people learn are experience and skills Suggested revision: what people learn is experience and skill Why it matters: The subject clause takes singular agreement here.
- 7. Academic style Original: what is that talent? How can we develop it? Or can we at all develop it? Suggested revision: the key questions are how to identify that talent and how far it can be developed Why it matters: Rhetorical questions are less controlled than a direct thesis statement.
- 8. Quote integration Original: "He doesn't have an extra foot or hand to be better than you!" Suggested revision: A common saying tells children that talented people do not have an extra foot or hand. Why it matters: Integrating the saying into your own sentence keeps the tone more formal.
- 9. Uncountable noun Original: With efforts Suggested revision: With effort Why it matters: Effort is usually uncountable in this general meaning.
- 10. Natural collocation Original: wise guiding Suggested revision: wise guidance Why it matters: Guidance is the correct noun.
- 11. Verb pattern Original: doesn't contradict with Suggested revision: doesn't contradict Why it matters: Contradict is transitive and does not need with.
- 12. Word choice Original: manifesting talents Suggested revision: revealing talent Why it matters: Revealing or developing talent is more natural.
Suggested Rewrites
- from the very early age from a very early age
- In the same context On the other hand
- but in all but in all children
- unless treated in proper ways unless they are developed in the right way
- While other people believe Other people, however, believe
- what people learn are experience and skills what people learn is experience and skill
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response discusses both natural talent and teachability and gives a clear opinion that children can excel with the right support, though the final position could be more nuanced about limits.
State explicitly that teaching can develop most children strongly, but innate talent may affect the highest levels of achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the ideas progress logically, but some opening sentences are long and the rhetorical questions interrupt the academic flow.
Make the introduction more direct and use topic sentences that clearly name each view before developing it.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is good, with phrases such as natural talents, appropriate teaching, and encouragement, but some collocations are awkward or repeated.
Use more precise phrases such as innate ability, coaching, practice, and reach elite performance instead of repeating talents and skills.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses complex structures with generally clear meaning, but errors in articles, plural forms, and clause linking appear throughout.
Check article use before singular count nouns and make sure long sentences are divided where the subject changes.