Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
[In favour of mixed schooling system]
The effectiveness of single-sex schools in comparison to mixed-gender schools in terms of academic performance and social skills requires thorough analysis, and this essay attempts to do just that. However, in my opinion, while only boys or only girls schools may be beneficial for academic performance, co-education academies provide a more comprehensive approach to education by developing students' social skills, which are crucial for their personal and professional lives in the future.
On the one hand, advocates of single-sex schools argue that separating boys and girls in school can improve academic performance as teachers can tailor their teaching style to the specific learning styles of either gender. Additionally, it can reduce distractions and create a more focused learning environment. For example, a study conducted by the National Association for Single-Sex Public Education showed that girls in such institutes tend to perform better in maths and science subjects than their counterparts in mixed schools.
On the other hand, supporters of mixed schools argue that such institutions provide a more realistic setting for children to develop social skills, which are important for their future professional and personal lives. Interacting with students from different genders can improve communication, understanding, and respect, which are essential for successful personal relationships and careers. For instance, a study conducted by the University of Illinois found that students who attended mixed-sex schools had better communication skills and higher emotional intelligence.
In conclusion, while single-sex schools may have some advantages in terms of academic performance, co-education schools provide a more comprehensive educational experience by preparing children for real-world situations. Therefore, I believe that mixed-sex schools are more beneficial for children in terms of their social development and future success.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the missing article Original: [In favour of mixed schooling system] Suggested revision: [In favour of a mixed schooling system] Why it matters: The singular count phrase schooling system requires an article.
- 2. Use the standard term Original: co-education academies Suggested revision: coeducational schools Why it matters: Coeducational schools is the standard term and matches the essay's other school labels.
- 3. Correct the preposition Original: from different genders Suggested revision: of different genders Why it matters: Of, not from, expresses membership in different gender groups.
- 4. Use standard terminology Original: co-education schools Suggested revision: coeducational schools Why it matters: Coeducational is the standard adjective modifying schools.
- 5. Tighten the comparison Original: in comparison to mixed-gender schools in terms of Suggested revision: compared with mixed-gender schools regarding Why it matters: The replacement reduces stacked prepositional phrases.
- 6. Name the essay action Original: attempts to do just that Suggested revision: examines both outcomes Why it matters: The replacement gives the backward reference a clear meaning.
- 7. Remove duplicate contrast Original: However, in my opinion, while Suggested revision: In my opinion, while Why it matters: While already signals the contrast, so However is unnecessary here.
- 8. Remove wordiness Original: personal and professional lives in the future Suggested revision: future personal and professional lives Why it matters: Moving future before the coordinated nouns removes the trailing time phrase.
- 9. Clarify the practice Original: separating boys and girls in school Suggested revision: educating boys and girls separately Why it matters: The replacement states the educational arrangement more precisely.
- 10. Use a flexible plural Original: their teaching style Suggested revision: their teaching methods Why it matters: Methods better accommodates the different adaptations made by multiple teachers.
- 11. Connect the two mechanisms Suggested revision: Add a bridge showing that tailored teaching and fewer distractions are separate mechanisms supporting the same academic-performance claim. Why it matters: The paragraph currently lists the two mechanisms without making their parallel role explicit.
- 12. Frame the study evidence Suggested revision: Introduce the study as evidence for the broader performance claim after the two proposed mechanisms. Why it matters: This would distinguish the reported outcome from the essay's explanations for that outcome.
Suggested Rewrites
- [In favour of mixed schooling system] [In favour of a mixed schooling system]
- co-education academies coeducational schools
- from different genders of different genders
- co-education schools coeducational schools
- in comparison to mixed-gender schools in terms of compared with mixed-gender schools regarding
- attempts to do just that examines both outcomes
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay discusses both educational models evenly, maintains a clear preference for mixed schools, and supports each view with relevant explanation and an illustrative study. Its structure is highly controlled and the language is flexible, although the bracketed heading is unnecessary and a few phrases such as ‘only boys or only girls schools’ and ‘students from different genders’ are less natural. Remove the heading and refine those local expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are directly and sufficiently developed, and the preference for mixed schooling remains clear from the introduction through the conclusion.
Deepen the final judgement by briefly explaining why social preparation outweighs the possible academic focus of single-sex education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and balanced one-side-per-paragraph development create strong, easy-to-follow progression.
Remove the bracketed pre-essay heading because the introduction already signals the position effectively.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and mostly precise educational vocabulary, with only occasional awkward combinations involving school types and gender.
Use natural forms such as ‘boys-only or girls-only schools’, ‘coeducational schools’, and ‘students of different genders’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and accurately controlled, with minor noun-modifier and possessive issues that do not impede communication.
Check compound modifiers and possessives in phrases describing single-sex institutions for fully natural accuracy.
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