Renowned and successful sports professionals earn a lot more than people in other important professions. While many people think that it is unfair, a large group of people say that this is totally justified. What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Sample Response
As a result of constant media attention towards sports players, they have become superstars like the filmstars. They are getting huge salaries and they are the ownersowner of luxurious homes, supercars and sophisticated mobile devices in order to project their imageshow off their personality as a superstar. Actually, the media is playing a vital role in increasing the popularity of sports stars and to make them popular among people so that they can get huge amounts in salariesin shape of salaries. Some people believe that sports players are receiving excessively large salariesexcessive big salaries and they have become extravagant compared to doctors and scientists which they consider unfairand which is unfair. Therefore, sports players are not contributing or playing any part in providingtaking any part to provide helpful services in order to benefit peoplegive advantages to people. But still, their salaries are immensely high. However, scientists and doctors’ salaries are far lower than those of sports playersfar less than sports players. Numerous people recommend that salaries of sportsmen should be reduced to bring themit to an appropriate level. On the other hand, a growing number of peoplegrowing numbers of people believe that sportsmen are playing a vital role by showingplaying a vital role to show their skills in front of the camera and undoubtedly,no doubt every stunt they perform is real and cannot be hidden from the public. Life-threatening risks are taken by those players and life is in danger while performing a live stunt. For instance, a motorbike rider puts his life in danger and climbs to jump from a mountain to hit his mark. Furthermore, a skydiver jumps from the aeroplane and takes a huge risk to their liferisk of life only to entertain the publicamuse public. Moreover, they practice numerous times to become experts no matter which game they intend to perform in front of the camera. Therefore practice is likely to be long run or short run but still they give every effort to win an ordinary competition and to show impressive and distinctive performance to break the record of previous players. For this purpose, they also spend huge money to buy a lot of equipment and they spend many nights and days keep practising. So, they are deservingcompetent of receiving huge salaries which are uncountable. In conclusion, I strongly agree that sports stars should be given immense salaries as their constant practice and hardworking is much more than doctors and engineers no matter even if they do not provide any advantage or service to public but still it will be justice to reward them with big salaries, the reason behind this that sometimes they involve in life threatening games.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response takes a clear final position and supplies several examples to support the importance of effort and risk in sport. Its main limitation is that much of the support concerns stunt performers rather than renowned sports professionals, while repeated awkward phrasing and one-block organisation weaken precision and flow. Prioritise directly relevant reasons for exceptional earnings, then develop each in a separate, accurately controlled paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear viewpoint is given and both sides are considered, but key examples are only partly relevant and several claims lack convincing support.
Base the justification on professional athletes' careers, market value, training, and limited earning years rather than stunt performers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad contrast between unfairness and justification is visible, but the single paragraph and repetitive linking weaken progression.
Build separate paragraphs around one central reason each and use referencing instead of repeated stock connectors.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise expressions limit clarity and flexibility.
Replace phrases such as risk of life and competent of receiving with accurate, natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, clauses, agreement, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy.
Use shorter controlled sentences and proofread each clause for a complete grammatical structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Renowned and successful sports professionals earn a lot more than people in other important professions. While many people think that it is unfair, a large group of people say that this is totally justified. What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.