Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Sample Response
With the advantages of technology, the human has shifted to a lifestyle in which individual requirement for delicious food has emerged not just to fulfil the hunger. They want to enjoy a diverse range of foods with a varying taste and for that have invented many new and complex recipes. They want to do it easily and swiftly with the help of modern tools and technology. Has this really improved our lifestyle or has done more harms? Let us examine this in the following essay. People want to enjoy a diverse type of food - prepare them at home or eat at expensive restaurants. People want to try new cuisines both at home and at restaurants and they want to be served promptly. This is where the modern equipment takes part in, and food preparation nowadays is easier and faster and this has definitely enhanced our lifestyle as it allows us to enjoy food, not just satisfy our tummy. Moreover, modern tools like the rice cooker, microwave oven, slicer, mixer, electric heater and so on make the cooking process quick and convenient. This saves a great deal of time unlike the past when someone had to be busy all day to prepare meals for the family. People now have more time for recreation, hobbies and for the family. For students, busy corporates, businessmen and researchers, this improvement remarkably enhances their lifestyle. On the downside, the advancements in food preparation methods have led to the growth of fast food industries and their restaurants pop-up everywhere, like mushrooms after the rain. This might seem convenient for those who do not have time to prepare food at home, but the health hazards are even greater. The obesity rate is skyrocketing in western countries and more people, these days, are suffering from health-related issues. In conclusion, the latest technology has undeniably improved the quality of an individual’s living standard but not without a cost. To make the best of this development we have to avoid junk food but prepare more nutritious food at home.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard collocation Original: With the advantages of technology Suggested revision: With advances in technology Why it matters: 'Advances in technology' is the standard phrase for technological progress.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: the human Suggested revision: humans Why it matters: A general statement about people requires the plural noun without an article.
- 3. Clarify intended meaning Original: individual requirement Suggested revision: individuals' desire Why it matters: 'Desire' more accurately expresses wanting enjoyable food than 'requirement'.
- 4. Correct collocation Original: fulfil the hunger Suggested revision: satisfy hunger Why it matters: English uses 'satisfy hunger', not 'fulfil the hunger'.
- 5. Match plural reference Original: with a varying taste Suggested revision: with varied tastes Why it matters: The plural phrase agrees with the diverse range of foods and sounds natural.
- 6. Clarify connection Original: and for that have invented Suggested revision: and have therefore created Why it matters: The replacement makes the cause-and-effect link grammatical and clear.
- 7. Complete question form Original: or has done more harms Suggested revision: or has it done more harm Why it matters: The second question clause needs a subject, and 'harm' is uncountable here.
- 8. Use plural types Original: a diverse type of food Suggested revision: diverse types of food Why it matters: 'Diverse' refers to multiple types, so the countable noun should be plural.
- 9. Fix incomplete phrase Original: takes part in Suggested revision: plays a part Why it matters: 'Takes part in' requires an object, whereas 'plays a part' completes the clause.
- 10. Use formal wording Original: satisfy our tummy Suggested revision: satisfy our hunger Why it matters: 'Satisfy our hunger' is more precise and suitably formal for an essay.
- 11. Name people precisely Original: busy corporates Suggested revision: busy corporate employees Why it matters: 'Corporates' refers to companies in this context, not the people working in them.
- 12. Use industry singular Original: fast food industries Suggested revision: the fast-food industry Why it matters: The sector is normally treated as a singular industry, with a hyphenated modifier.
Suggested Rewrites
- With the advantages of technology With advances in technology
- the human humans
- individual requirement individuals' desire
- fulfil the hunger satisfy hunger
- with a varying taste with varied tastes
- and for that have invented and have therefore created
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear view, and develops relevant benefits of easier food preparation while acknowledging a credible health cost. Its strongest feature is the use of concrete appliances and lifestyle consequences to support the argument. The main limitation is presentation as one unbroken paragraph, compounded by recurring awkward grammar and word combinations; organise the reasoning into purposeful paragraphs and refine sentence accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a consistent position, relevant benefits, a considered drawback, and supporting examples.
Make the evaluation still sharper by explicitly weighing the health disadvantage against the time and convenience benefits before concluding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through benefits, a drawback, and a conclusion, but the entire response is presented as one paragraph.
Separate the introduction, main benefits, health drawback, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear internal focus.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad range of topic vocabulary, although several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise.
Refine phrases such as 'the human,' 'diverse type of food,' and 'busy corporates' into natural, precise academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally clear meaning, but errors in articles, agreement, clause formation, and punctuation recur.
Edit each complex sentence for complete clause structure and accurate determiners, verb forms, and punctuation before adding further detail.