Many people think that alternative sources of energy should be utilized right now. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Since the beginning of recorded historythe recorded time, people have been exploring natural resources to fulfil their needs. Has it been water, coal to burn fire and cook, crude oil to commute from one place to other, dwellers have been exploring avenues to live in; consequently these are on the verge of annihilation. Regarding this issueApropos of the argument, I am in complete agreementconsummate accord with it and I believe that people should refrain from exploiting natural resourcesrefrain from scavenging and adopt alternative energy sourcesenvisage alternative sources. This opinion is supported by the arguments belowsurrounded be several arguments as below.
To begin with, overexploitation of the soilover exploration of soil is a threat to the environment. In other words, various exploration programs are causing depletion of soil; as a result, it has resulted in numerous global catastrophes. For instanceFor an instance, as per a report from a renowned coal mining magazine, 60% of the natural catastrophes occur because ofare taking due to imbalancesimbalance created by mining. Thus, digging up the earthdigging earth for minerals should be prevented as soon as possible.
In addition, using coal and crude oil to generate electricityutilization of coal and crude oil for generation of electricity produces harmful gases. The by-products of burningByproducts after burning coal and crude oil are hazardoustreacherous, in particular, carbon monoxide, which is the major contributor to worsening global warmingmajor constituent of swelling global warming. Recently, environment scientists have confirmed in a monthly magazine that human must migrate to renewal energy sources owing to the severe level of poisonous gases such as CO, H2S, HCN in the atmosphere germinated by utilizing fossil fuels.
To conclude, extraction of earth must be prevented as soon as possible to alleviate natural disasters due to imbalance inis the environment. Likewise, the human must shift their focus to renewal energy to maintain the oxygen level on the earth.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and uses a straightforward paragraph structure to present two relevant environmental reasons for switching energy sources. Its main limitation is that the supporting claims are broad, sometimes implausible, and only loosely explain how alternative energy would solve the problems, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise developing each reason with accurate, specific cause-and-effect explanation in controlled, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained, and two relevant environmental reasons are presented, but support is generalised and sometimes unconvincing.
Develop each reason with a specific, credible explanation of how adopting alternative energy would address the identified harm.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, although linking is formulaic and some claims are connected loosely.
Use cohesive devices less mechanically and make the logical relationship between each claim and its supporting explanation explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make expression unnatural and occasionally obscure.
Prioritise precise, conventional combinations such as renewable energy and fossil-fuel emissions instead of forcing unfamiliar or overly elaborate terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and clause construction weaken control.
Build complex sentences from accurately controlled clauses and proofread systematically for articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people think that alternative sources of energy should be utilized right now. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.