Should travelling be included in the education? Discuss and give your opinion.

Sample Response

1

Since the beginning of recorded historybeginning of the recorded time, peopleaboriginals have always been interested in learning by means ofby the mean of travelling around the globe. Whether they were explorersHas it be explorers such as Columbus, Darwin or other prominent travellerswanderers, this world was explored and discovered through travelby sightseeing. As travel has become part of educationIn the wake of education with travelling, the majority of institutions have included educational visitssight visiting as a key componentpredominant determinant while designing a course. Some people believe learning by seeing is propitious for scholars; however, others claimother claims the opposite. I will discuss both sidesboth the sides in the viability of the argument and state an opinion. On the one hand, opponents of adding travelling in education claim that it will hinder students from excellinghinder students to excel academically. Firstly, subjects like Mathematics, Physics and Information Technology do not require a pupil to see a sight or travel to learn them. For exampleFor an example, if someone wants to be a mathematician, he must be excellent in mathematical skills and travelling to places will not add value for such students in learning and assimilating scientific concepts. Therefore, travelling has no importance in learning these subjects. Secondly, the exchange program to learn can act as a hindrancehinder in learning, as every country will have its own set of educational standards, which may not be suitable for every student. Thus, many contend that adding travelling in the curriculum is not viable and beneficial for scholars. On the other hand, proponents of assimilating travelling as a determinant in learning claim various rationales in support of the opinion. One of the main reasonsOne the most profuse reason is on account of learning associated with practical knowledge. These advocates also assert that practical learning by sightseeing inculcates a permanent learning among the scholars, which is mandatory for the overall development of students. It can be confirmed by the latest report of education society of India, which has published the statistics of experiments on students. As per experiment, pupils were divided into two groups and taught a lesson in two different ways, the first group was taught theoretically and another group was taught practically by showing the actual sight. As per results, children taught using sightseeing were able to retain the information for 20 days extra than the students educated theoretically. Likewise, students can learn more if they will travel to other countries. It will not only impart an impetus to their academic learning, but also it will infuse cross-cultural understanding. Consequently, it will enhance the overall growth of students. To sum up, after discussing both sides of the argument, I am convinced that advantages of adding travelling in education outweighoverweigh the disadvantages and it must be encouraged for the overall academic and social development of the scholars.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The essay addresses both perspectives, gives a clear opinion, and supports the benefits of educational travel with an extended example and relevant cross-cultural reasoning. Its organisation is easy to follow, but frequent strained collocations and recurring grammatical errors reduce precision and naturalness despite the ambitious vocabulary. The highest priority is to express the same well-developed ideas in simpler, idiomatic language and proofread complex clauses for agreement and verb-form accuracy.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both views are discussed and the final position is clear, with relevant development, although some claims and the reported experiment are insufficiently qualified.

Next step

Support each side with a precise, credible example and explain its relevance without relying on sweeping claims or unverifiable statistics.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The essay progresses logically from the opposing view to the supporting view and conclusion, with clear paragraphing despite somewhat mechanical linking.

Next step

Replace repeated signposts such as firstly, secondly, and as per with more natural links based on the logical relationship between ideas.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

A broad range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices weaken precision.

Next step

Prefer natural expressions such as educational travel, obstacle to learning, and lasting knowledge instead of forcing ambitious words into unsuitable combinations.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns, and clause construction remain noticeable while meaning stays clear.

Next step

Proofread each complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and accurate verb forms, especially conditional clauses and not only but also constructions.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Should travelling be included in the education? Discuss and give your opinion.

Your response

Words0
40:00

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