Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live?
Sample Response
Some students prefer to live in university dormitories. However, other students choose to live in apartments in the community. I think both of these options have advantages. In this essay, I will give my reasons to support my view.
From the one side, living in a dormitory has many benefits. First of all, for a foreign student, it is a good chance to improve his or her communication skills and find new friends. Second of all, a dormitory has many useful facilities such as libraries, a canteen, Internet access, etc. In addition to these practical benefits living in a dormitory is often cheaper. So, it helps students save some money what is important at the beginning of their independent life. Finally, living in a dormitory gives students the opportunity to ask for help each other if something was not clear on the lecture presented in a class. This, in turn, leads to higher grades. Also, students have many common subject and interests to discuss with each other. So, basically, living in a dormitory helps students to become more sociable and good team-players and gain new knowledge and experience by use of lab, libraries and group discussion.
From the other side, living in apartments in the community also have a few benefits. Students can have more privacy and, also, they can choose a community according to its convenience and location. It is sometimes may be an essential because of a person's job.
In conclusion, I think that living in a dormitory brings students more benefits than it does living in a community. Students learn to get along with each other, be ready to help and make friends.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use paired linker Original: From the one side Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The conventional linker for the first side of a comparison is on the one hand.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: find new friends Suggested revision: make new friends Why it matters: English uses make friends rather than find friends for forming relationships.
- 3. Use concise sequence Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Second Why it matters: Second is a more concise and natural sequencing expression in formal writing.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: benefits living Suggested revision: benefits, living Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory prepositional phrase before the main clause.
- 5. Fix relative clause Original: money what is important Suggested revision: money, which is important Why it matters: A non-defining comment on the preceding idea requires which and a comma.
- 6. Match plural students Original: their independent life Suggested revision: their independent lives Why it matters: The possessors are plural, so the individual lives should also be plural.
- 7. Correct word order Original: ask for help each other Suggested revision: ask each other for help Why it matters: The reciprocal pronoun belongs immediately after ask in this construction.
- 8. Use consistent tense Original: if something was not clear Suggested revision: if something is not clear Why it matters: The essay describes a general present situation, so the condition should use the present tense.
- 9. Correct preposition Original: on the lecture Suggested revision: in the lecture Why it matters: Information is unclear in a lecture, not on a lecture.
- 10. Use plural noun Original: common subject Suggested revision: common subjects Why it matters: The quantifier many requires a plural count noun.
- 11. Use natural phrasing Original: by use of lab, libraries and group discussion Suggested revision: through the use of laboratories, libraries, and group discussions Why it matters: The revision supplies natural phrasing, consistent plural forms, and clear list punctuation.
- 12. Complete paired linker Original: From the other side Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: This is the conventional counterpart to on the one hand in a comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- From the one side On the one hand
- find new friends make new friends
- Second of all Second
- benefits living benefits, living
- money what is important money, which is important
- their independent life their independent lives
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when explaining the social, academic, and financial advantages of university housing, and its final preference is clear. However, the comparison is substantially unbalanced because apartment living receives only brief, general treatment, while frequent grammatical and collocational problems weaken precision. Prioritise developing the apartment side with specific explanations and then compare both options directly before stating the preference.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both housing options and states a preference, but the apartment advantages are insufficiently developed compared with the dormitory discussion.
Add specific explanations or examples for privacy, location, and independence, then weigh those benefits directly against university housing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall organisation is easy to follow, but the body is imbalanced and several linking expressions are mechanical or inaccurately formed.
Give the two alternatives more proportionate paragraph development and use natural contrast markers rather than 'From the one side' and 'From the other side'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary adequately covers accommodation, facilities, and student life, but repeated words and inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Improve collocations and word forms in phrases such as 'make friends', 'common subjects', and 'through laboratory work and group discussion'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, relative clauses, and verb construction are noticeable throughout.
Focus first on subject-verb agreement and clause formation, correcting patterns such as 'living ... has' and avoiding double verbs like 'is may be'.
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