Maintaining safety standard while building homes is very important and some people believe that government should be responsible for enforcing the strict building codes while many others opine that house owners and the people who are working there should be responsible for that. In your opinion who should be responsible for enforcing strict building codes.
Sample Response
Housing is perhaps fastest growing industry in the world. The frantic growth in the housing industry has resulted in many shortcuts employed by builders. Some argue that governments should put in measures to define mechanisms to control quality. While other like to put the onus on the builders themselves. This essay would look into both aspects and conclude by suggesting an idea of fixing the responsibility. History has shown that opportunity of making money plus extreme competition result in cutting corners in quality in every industry. Same has happened in the housing sector as well. There have been many instances all around the world where poor building quality has led many deaths. A study by Mumbai University reveals that there are on an average 100 deaths every year in Mumbai alone because of poor construction quality. Therefore, builders cannot be trusted with all the faith people have on them. The government should define code for building residences and the minimum acceptable quality. Every project should be scrutinised and evaluated at every stage starting from design to fitting electrical wiring. Approval of construction should be withheld if any inferiority is found at any stage. By following this method United States government was able to improve housing by a great deal in the 1960s. Now one would find rare accidents at construction sites or after building are handed over to owners. With above points, it can be concluded that government has a major role to play in enforcing construction rules. Rules should be made to fix responsibility on builders for any lapse.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add articles Original: Housing is perhaps fastest growing industry Suggested revision: Housing is perhaps the fastest-growing industry Why it matters: The superlative phrase needs "the", and the compound adjective should be hyphenated.
- 2. Add passive structure Original: many shortcuts employed by builders Suggested revision: many shortcuts being employed by builders Why it matters: The phrase needs a clearer passive form after "has resulted in".
- 3. Fix fragment Original: While other like to put Suggested revision: while others like to put Why it matters: The sentence fragment needs a plural subject and should be attached to the previous idea.
- 4. Use direct future Original: This essay would look Suggested revision: This essay will look Why it matters: The future form is more natural for outlining the essay.
- 5. Use natural phrase Original: opportunity of making money Suggested revision: opportunity to make money Why it matters: This is the standard verb pattern after "opportunity".
- 6. Fix agreement Original: result in cutting corners Suggested revision: results in cutting corners Why it matters: The compound subject is treated as a situation, so the singular verb is clearer here.
- 7. Add preposition Original: has led many deaths Suggested revision: has led to many deaths Why it matters: The verb phrase requires "to" before the result.
- 8. Use fixed phrase Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The standard expression does not include "an".
- 9. Use precise collocation Original: all the faith people have on them Suggested revision: all the trust people place in them Why it matters: People place trust in someone; they do not have faith on them.
- 10. Use plural term Original: define code Suggested revision: define building codes Why it matters: The essay is about formal codes, so the plural policy term is needed.
- 11. Use construction term Original: any inferiority is found Suggested revision: substandard work is found Why it matters: "Inferiority" is unnatural for inspection findings.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: after building are handed over Suggested revision: after buildings are handed over Why it matters: The plural verb "are" requires a plural noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- Housing is perhaps fastest growing industry Housing is perhaps the fastest-growing industry
- many shortcuts employed by builders many shortcuts being employed by builders
- While other like to put while others like to put
- This essay would look This essay will look
- opportunity of making money opportunity to make money
- result in cutting corners results in cutting corners
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay gives a clear opinion that government should enforce building codes while builders should remain responsible for lapses. It supports this with safety risks and examples, though the discussion of the opposing view is brief and the final responsibility-sharing position could be sharper.
State from the introduction exactly how government and builders should share responsibility, then develop the builder-responsibility side before explaining why government enforcement is essential.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically ordered from problem to evidence to government action and conclusion. Paragraphing is adequate, but some sentence fragments and abrupt transitions reduce smoothness.
Connect each paragraph with a clearer topic sentence, and avoid fragments beginning with "While" unless they are attached to a full main clause.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant to construction, regulation, quality, and enforcement. Some collocations are inaccurate, such as faith on them, define code, and any inferiority, which limits precision.
Use exact policy and construction terms such as "building codes", "inspection", "substandard work", "compliance", and "liability".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a range of clause structures and is usually easy to understand. Errors with articles, plurals, fragments, and subject-verb agreement occur throughout but rarely block meaning.
Check every noun phrase for articles and plural endings, especially when writing about governments, builders, codes, buildings, and accidents in general.