Some people think that universities should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give more practical training throughout their courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
In the past, a majority of academics have held the opinion that universities should only offer a theoretically-based approach to teaching throughout their courses, as opposed to the relatively recent trend towards the empirical acquisition of knowledge involving more “hands on” experience. Is this the most effective way for students to learn vital academic information while undertaking their degrees? Undoubtedly, advantages and disadvantages of both academic learning styles have to be evaluated. Firstly, on the one hand, despite being the more traditional educational approach, learning from theory in relevant academic discourses to identify established knowledge allows us to gain a professional insight. For example, students can easily identify facts and opinions from past discourses. In addition, students acquire knowledge more easily when given relative theoretical examples to build upon. For instance, in subjects such as history or sociology, studying textbook examples allows students to unravel complex academic theories which they could expand on. Alternatively, there are some disadvantages for students. On the other hand, there is no doubt that students could find themselves reading tedious and monotonous academic papers. For instance, university degrees involving the evaluation of numerous ‘long-winded’ academic discourses provide a little inspiration for students, discouraging enthusiasm. Obviously, interest can be stimulated through empirical research in class. By this, I mean that ‘the human brain learns best by doing’. Although time-consuming, there is no substitute for learning from making mistakes. In conclusion, while both approaches have benefits and drawbacks in our ever-changing academic world, I honestly believe that a more practical approach promotes a stronger acquisition of academic knowledge. In spite of the comprehensive nature which theoretical teaching can possibly provide, practical learning equals more positive learning for future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: theoretically-based Suggested revision: theoretically based Why it matters: An adverb ending in -ly is not normally hyphenated to the adjective it modifies.
- 2. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: “hands on” Suggested revision: “hands-on” Why it matters: The compound modifier needs a hyphen before the noun “experience.”
- 3. Use precise collocation Original: vital academic information Suggested revision: essential academic knowledge Why it matters: “Academic knowledge” fits learning at university more naturally than “academic information.”
- 4. Add definite article Original: advantages and disadvantages of both academic learning styles Suggested revision: the advantages and disadvantages of both learning styles Why it matters: The plural noun phrase refers to the two specific approaches already introduced and needs “the.”
- 5. Avoid doubled signposting Original: Firstly, on the one hand Suggested revision: Firstly Why it matters: Using both markers together is redundant and makes the transition cumbersome.
- 6. Choose natural term Original: relevant academic discourses Suggested revision: relevant academic literature Why it matters: “Academic literature” is the natural term for written scholarly sources in this context.
- 7. Remove incorrect article Original: gain a professional insight Suggested revision: gain professional insight Why it matters: “Insight” is used uncountably when referring generally to professional understanding.
- 8. Correct word choice Original: relative theoretical examples Suggested revision: relevant theoretical examples Why it matters: “Relevant” means connected to the subject, whereas “relative” does not express that meaning here.
- 9. Align tense and reference Original: which they could expand on Suggested revision: that they can explore further Why it matters: Present tense matches the general claim, and the revision states the intended action more clearly.
- 10. Remove inflated wording Original: there is no doubt that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The phrase adds unnecessary certainty before a straightforward possibility claim.
- 11. Correct quantity meaning Original: provide a little inspiration Suggested revision: provide little inspiration Why it matters: “A little” means some inspiration, while “little” expresses the intended lack of inspiration.
- 12. Use natural phrasing Original: discouraging enthusiasm Suggested revision: reducing students’ enthusiasm Why it matters: The revision expresses the effect more naturally and names whose enthusiasm is affected.
Suggested Rewrites
- theoretically-based theoretically based
- “hands on” “hands-on”
- vital academic information essential academic knowledge
- advantages and disadvantages of both academic learning styles the advantages and disadvantages of both learning styles
- Firstly, on the one hand Firstly
- relevant academic discourses relevant academic literature
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response shows strong command of academic language and presents a clear preference for practical learning after considering both approaches. Its main limitation is that several points are asserted briefly or expressed in over-elaborate, imprecise language, while the absence of clear paragraph breaks weakens the structure. Prioritise developing the practical-training case with one precise, fully explained example and organise each main idea in a distinct paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both approaches and reaches a clear, relevant position, although some supporting points remain briefly developed.
State the position earlier and develop the case for practical training with a specific, fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically overall, but the single-block presentation and somewhat mechanical linking reduce structural clarity.
Use distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often sophisticated, though several collocations are over-elaborate or imprecise.
Prefer natural, exact phrasing over abstract expressions such as repeated references to academic discourses and empirical acquisition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional awkward clauses and minor form errors.
Edit complex sentences for cleaner relative clauses, prepositions, and comparisons so that sophistication never weakens precision.
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