The diagram illustrates the way of how bamboo fabric is being made. Overall, the process of manufacturing fabric from bamboo follows the linear pattern and involves nine stages. It begins with planting bamboo during spring and ends with ready to use clothing made from the bamboo fabric. The first step invloves landing bamboo plants in spring so that it may be manually harvasted in autumn. Then reaped bamboo is being cut into small strips which facilitates making of liquid pulp. Before that those strips should be crushed. The following step named as filtring requires to seperate lengthy fibres from liquid so that it will not hinder the whole production. After this in order to soften the fibres the water and chemical substance as amine oxide should be added. Then the fibres have to be spinned in order to make a yam so that it will accelerate the process of weaving. The final step is production of clothing from the produced bamboo fabric.
Sample Response
At present days various aspects of the way society dress are significantly influenced by widespread fashion tendencies. The rising amount of social media and a profound impact of fast fashion have considerably influenced nearly every aspect of human's lives, especially the fashion industry. I am firmly convinced that such fashion trends may pose a real risks on both individuality and environment.
One of the main causes how fashion trends affected publicity is the pivotal role of social media. The ubiquitous presence in everyone's lives of Instagram or TikTok induce people to follow different trends incorporating those that turn clothing in constant, visible content. This results in people feeling more inclined to keep up with them due to the need of being accepted by society. Moreover, the increasing role of fast fashion campaings may also pose a severe influance on lives. Brands such as Zara or H&M, which specialize in fast fashion through fast production and affordable prices, allowing population to buy those latest looks, thus inducing in them feeling of offense if they will not follow with others.
Influance of global fast fashion should be considered as negative developmet. Firstly, clothing is one aspect of people's lives that responds for their identity. Global fashion trends may exert strong pressure, because everyone tries to copy others, which unevitably leads to a disappearance of individuality and the way people express who they are. Secondly, the fast fashion campaings have a detrimental effects on environment due to the considerable amounts of carbon footprint, chemicals or exploitation of natural resources it emits or uses in fashion production.
To conclude, through instrumental role of social media and boosting presence of fast fashion tendencies - global fashion is influencing humans. Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that such impact has strongly negative effects.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Incorrect time expression Original: At present days Suggested revision: Nowadays Why it matters: The phrase 'At present days' is ungrammatical; use 'Nowadays' or 'At present' instead.
- 2. Subject-verb agreement error Original: society dress Suggested revision: society dresses Why it matters: The singular noun 'society' requires the singular verb form 'dresses'.
- 3. Article-noun agreement error Original: a real risks Suggested revision: real risks Why it matters: The singular article 'a' cannot be used with the plural noun 'risks'.
- 4. Inappropriate word choice Original: publicity Suggested revision: the public Why it matters: 'Publicity' refers to advertising or media attention; 'the public' refers to people in general.
- 5. Spelling error Original: campaings Suggested revision: campaigns Why it matters: The word 'campaigns' is misspelled here.
- 6. Spelling error Original: influance Suggested revision: influence Why it matters: The word 'influence' is misspelled with an 'a'.
- 7. Fragmented verb form Original: allowing population Suggested revision: which allows people Why it matters: Using a participle creates a run-on fragment; a relative clause or finite verb is needed.
- 8. Incorrect conditional tense Original: if they will not follow with others. Suggested revision: if they do not keep up with others. Why it matters: In first conditional clauses, use the simple present tense instead of 'will'.
- 9. Spelling error Original: negative developmet Suggested revision: a negative development Why it matters: The word 'development' is misspelled, and it requires an indefinite article.
- 10. Incorrect word choice Original: responds for Suggested revision: is responsible for Why it matters: The verb 'responds' does not mean to represent or be responsible for.
- 11. Spelling error Original: unevitably Suggested revision: inevitably Why it matters: The word 'inevitably' is misspelled with a 'u'.
- 12. Article-noun agreement error Original: a detrimental effects Suggested revision: detrimental effects Why it matters: The singular article 'a' should not precede the plural noun 'effects'.
Suggested Rewrites
- At present days Nowadays
- society dress society dresses
- a real risks real risks
- publicity the public
- campaings campaigns
- influance influence
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured and clearly argued response to the topic of fashion trends, demonstrating a strong personal position supported by relevant examples. The main limitation lies in frequent minor grammatical slips and spelling repetitions that detract from the overall polish. To improve, the writer should focus on refining grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, alongside correcting habitual spelling errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
You address all parts of the prompt by clearly identifying the causes of fashion trends and explaining why their impact is negative.
To achieve a higher score, fully develop your examples by explaining exactly how fast fashion brands pressure consumers psychologically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing and a natural progression of ideas from causes to effects.
Vary your cohesive devices and transition phrases to avoid repetitive structures like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'.
Lexical Resource
You use a very good range of topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'ubiquitous presence', 'carbon footprint', and 'exploitation of natural resources'.
Eliminate systematic spelling errors of common words, such as 'influance' (influence) and 'campaings' (campaigns).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but frequent minor errors in articles, prepositions, and pluralization occur.
Focus on correcting noun-verb agreement and article usage, such as changing 'a real risks' to 'real risks' or 'a real risk'.