Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some people think that tourists should pay more money to visit cultural and historical places than local residents. I do not agree with this motion. In my opinion, local people and tourists should pay the same fee to visit museums and historical places.
Firstly, if the government increases ticket price for tourists, the number of tourists who visit the country can decrease. As a result, this situation affects the country's economy badly. Moreover, cultural and historical places symbolise a country's characteristics. Therefore, they are advertised for countries. If the figure of tourists declines the opportunities for adverts local restaurants and places will also get reduced. It is also bad for countries' economy. If more money is taken from the international tourists than the local visitors, the foreigners would feel discriminated and this might lead to dissatisfaction among them.
Secondly, ticket price can be equal both for the local people and tourists because both of them have a right to visit cultural and historical places equally. To separate visitors in terms of their nationality is not a good sense and in my opinion unfair. Some countries are notorious for unfair ticket fees such as Turkey and Greece. For example, Topkapı palace is a very popular historical place in Turkey. It is visited by hundreds of thousands of people every year. It is very famous all over the world. However, according to the news, which I have read it recently, the number of foreign visitors is decreasing due to high ticket fees in Turkey. The price for tourists is four times higher than for local visitors in some museums in Turkey. Hence, many tourism agents criticise governments because of this.
In conclusion, in my view, tourists and local visitors should pay the same money to visit cultural and historical places. To increase ticket price for tourists in cultural and historical places does not enhance tourism income. By contrast, it can decrease it. Furthermore, I would argue that both local visitors and tourists have an equal right to visit cultural and historical places.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Essay collocation Original: agree with this motion Suggested revision: agree with this view Why it matters: A view is agreed with.
- 2. Article Original: increases ticket price Suggested revision: increases the ticket price Why it matters: A specific price needs 'the'.
- 3. Academic tone Original: economy badly Suggested revision: economy adversely Why it matters: Adversely is more formal.
- 4. Wrong phrase Original: advertised for countries Suggested revision: promote their countries Why it matters: Attractions promote destinations.
- 5. Count phrase Original: figure of tourists Suggested revision: number of tourists Why it matters: Use number for people.
- 6. Malformed phrase Original: opportunities for adverts local restaurants Suggested revision: opportunities to promote local restaurants Why it matters: This restores the intended meaning.
- 7. Possessive Original: countries' economy Suggested revision: the country's economy Why it matters: The reference is singular.
- 8. Preposition Original: feel discriminated Suggested revision: feel discriminated against Why it matters: Discriminated requires against.
- 9. Collocation Original: not a good sense Suggested revision: not reasonable Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic.
- 10. Double object Original: which I have read it recently Suggested revision: which I read recently Why it matters: The relative pronoun already functions as object.
- 11. Precise noun Original: pay the same money Suggested revision: pay the same admission fee Why it matters: Fee is the relevant measure.
- 12. Precise expression Original: pay more money Suggested revision: pay higher admission fees Why it matters: Admission fees names the charge precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- agree with this motion agree with this view
- increases ticket price increases the ticket price
- economy badly economy adversely
- advertised for countries promote their countries
- figure of tourists number of tourists
- opportunities for adverts local restaurants opportunities to promote local restaurants
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay gives an unequivocal disagreement and sustains it through two relevant lines of reasoning: economic deterrence and fairness. Organisation is clear and the Turkey example adds specificity, but ideas are repetitive and some causal claims remain asserted rather than analysed. Improve by acknowledging the strongest case for resident discounts, then rebutting it, while correcting frequent article, collocation, and relative-clause errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is fully clear and supported, but the argument is one-sided and sometimes repetitive.
Address the public-subsidy justification for lower local prices and explain why equal fees are still preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, though several short sentences repeat the same point.
Combine related claims and give each paragraph one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is adequate, but inaccurate collocations reduce precision.
Use visitor numbers, tourism promotion, feel discriminated against, and admission fees.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning stays clear despite frequent article, plural, and clause errors.
Check articles with singular count nouns and remove redundant relative-clause pronouns.