The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
In this digital era technology is playing an important role in all major sectors and 'education & teaching' is no exception. It has definitely changed the way we learn and teach. However, there are several reasons that make me believe that technology will never be able to replace our conventional teachers completely. Firstly, technology cannot make decisions the way humans do. For instance, in a class, if a student does not understand a topic, a teacher can decide to explain it in a different way or even with a familiar example. Technology cannot relate to our day to day lives. Also, a machine or a software cannot differentiate between good and behaviour and subsequently, cannot handle it with a punishment or a reward. Technology will never be able to handle a class full of kids the way teachers do while being loved, respected and inspiring students at the same time. Every student is different and may need a different treatment which teachers do the best. I believe that technology can help the teachers to teach more efficiently but can never play their role. Secondly, the logical matrix lacks an emotional repertoire. Teachers play a very important role in motivating and guiding students, not only in their academics but also in their personal lives. Technology cannot do that. Unlike machines, teachers can gauge when to be funny, serious or sympathetic. Moreover, though we need to use technology on a daily basis today, not everyone is tech-savvy. I myself still prefer blackboards over slideshows for learning. A complete technology driven classroom seems very mechanical to me. All these points fortify my opinion that technology cannot replace teachers. Nonetheless, the way it assists teachers will arguably change over time with new innovations; hopefully only to better our learning experience!
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add comma Original: In this digital era technology Suggested revision: In this digital era, technology Why it matters: Use a comma after an introductory phrase.
- 2. Formal wording Original: education & teaching Suggested revision: education and teaching Why it matters: Avoid ampersands in formal IELTS writing.
- 3. Uncountable noun Original: a software Suggested revision: software Why it matters: Software is uncountable in this use.
- 4. Missing word Original: between good and behaviour Suggested revision: between good and bad behaviour Why it matters: The comparison is incomplete.
- 5. Collocation Original: handle it with a punishment or a reward Suggested revision: respond with punishment or reward Why it matters: Respond is more natural than handle here.
- 6. Article use Original: Every student is different and may need a different treatment Suggested revision: Every student is different and may need different treatment Why it matters: Treatment is used generally here, so the article is unnecessary.
- 7. Unnatural phrase Original: which teachers do the best Suggested revision: which teachers are best able to provide Why it matters: This sounds more formal and precise.
- 8. Unclear phrase Original: logical matrix Suggested revision: computer system Why it matters: Logical matrix sounds technical but unclear in this essay.
- 9. Overformal phrase Original: emotional repertoire Suggested revision: emotional understanding Why it matters: This phrase is clearer for the reader.
- 10. Word form Original: not only in their academics Suggested revision: not only in their academic work Why it matters: Academic work is the natural noun phrase.
- 11. Hyphenation Original: technology driven classroom Suggested revision: technology-driven classroom Why it matters: Compound adjectives before nouns are usually hyphenated.
- 12. Collocation Original: fortify my opinion Suggested revision: strengthen my opinion Why it matters: Strengthen is more natural in IELTS essays.
Suggested Rewrites
- In this digital era technology In this digital era, technology
- education & teaching education and teaching
- a software software
- between good and behaviour between good and bad behaviour
- handle it with a punishment or a reward respond with punishment or reward
- Every student is different and may need a different treatment Every student is different and may need different treatment
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear disagreement and develops relevant reasons about human judgement, classroom management, motivation, and emotional support.
Add a slightly clearer introduction-conclusion structure and one concrete example of technology supporting, rather than replacing, teachers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically, though the essay is written as one long paragraph. Cohesion is generally clear but would benefit from clearer paragraph breaks.
Divide the essay into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly precise, with some effective phrases. A few word choices are unnatural or inaccurate.
Check collocations carefully when using abstract language such as emotional repertoire or technology-driven classroom.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, with a good range of clauses. There are occasional article, word form, and punctuation errors.
Proofread for missing commas after introductory phrases and small word-form slips.