Single young people in many countries leave their parents for study and job and live somewhere else. Does this trend have more advantages than disadvantages? Write no less than 250 words.
Sample Response
Leaving home to study or work is an increasing trend today especially among youngsters. Some people feel that staying outside the their parents' homehome premises until marriage has more advantages, while others have reservationsobstacles about it. This essay examines the pros and conscones of this issue.
On the one hand, there are some grounds for opposing this trend. Firstly, when people stay away from the family, there may be a chance of reduced control or supervision by the parents. As timedays passes, communication with parents declines and young people may begin to live without guidanceends up in life like a free bird in this modern world. In fact, youngsters are more gullible and easy prey for criminals and other temptationseasy prey to crimes and its colourful temptations. Hence, these kinds of activitiesthis kind of activities, as well as independent life away from parents, may damage their livespaves the way to spoil their life. Moreover, this trend needs more financial support for accommodation and food. Since educational and occupational there are more opportunities in citiesopportunities are more in cities, the cost of living in those areas will also be higheralso will be more. Thus, it can be a financial burden, especially for students.
On the other hand, it is fairly easy to understand the advantages of independent life away from home. Firstly, people gain exposureget an exposure when they leave their native town or country. More specificallyTo make it more clear, they get more opportunities for study as well as work, as a result this can be a stepping stoneit can be stepping stone for their education and career. Moreover, it provides chances to mingle with others from different countries following various cultures, religions, customs etc. Hence, we can understand the cultural and religious practices of several places and can adopt beneficial practicesabsorb the goods as well. Finally, a feelingFinally a feeling of team spirit and religious harmony forms among them, as a result, they learn to work in a group or how to be in a society or public. In addition, it helps people to become independent, responsible and self-reliant. This thus helps their overall developmentThus helps in the overall development of personality. However, they learn how to live in this modern world on the right pathin right path.
To conclude, when we analyse both points, it is clearly evident that staying away from home until their marriage has more merits than demerits. We should exercise our prudence and discernment during those periods thus one can avoid the pitfalls.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay discusses both disadvantages and advantages, maintains a clear judgement that the benefits are greater, and provides relevant points about finances, opportunity, cultural exposure, and independence. Development is sometimes vague or exaggerated, and frequent collocation, agreement, article, and sentence-boundary errors weaken precision. Improve by comparing the relative weight of the two sides explicitly and expressing each supporting example in controlled, natural English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are covered and a clear answer is given, though some claims are generalised and the advantages are not explicitly weighed against disadvantages until the conclusion.
Explain why long-term career and independence benefits outweigh manageable financial and social risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is clear, but overused linkers and several comma splices disrupt flow.
Use fewer mechanical transitions and separate complete sentences cleanly.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for the topic, but many inaccurate collocations obscure otherwise relevant ideas.
Use standard phrases such as pros and cons, gain exposure, stepping stone, and follow the right path.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but agreement, articles, pronouns, and fragments contain frequent errors.
Check each clause for a subject and finite verb, then verify singular-plural agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Single young people in many countries leave their parents for study and job and live somewhere else. Does this trend have more advantages than disadvantages? Write no less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.