Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Since ancient times, Planet earth is known to host a multitude of natural resources, scenic beauty, polar ice caps, mountain ranges, hidden terrains and so on. Often Scientists and tourists travel all over the earth to explore hidden natural place, admire their beauty or conduct scientific researches over its ecosystem. This essay will analyse the merits and demerits associated with these explorations before drawing a logical conclusion.
One of the benefits of exploring distant natural ecosystem by scientist and sightseer is to study the local inhabitants, flora and fauna and impact of climatic changes in that region over time. Scientists can perform their research work which can potentially lead to some important discoveries about the evolution of life on earth, climatic behaviour and so on. Analysis of snow caps in Polar Regions, rivers in Arizona, lakes in Himalaya's and soil in remote forests can help to answer unsolved mysteries. Tourists can enjoy the untouched beauty of that region, relax their souls and enjoy their vacations. For instance, many holidaymakers prefer to choose sites that are not crowded and far away from known places, so that they can enjoy the nature to its full extent and revive their souls.
On the contrary, these explorations often incur huge expenses. People visiting remote places can risk their lives in danger due to unavailability of basic necessities of life like food, water, medicines and so on. Moreover, unknown environmental and climatic changes can have adverse effects on their lives. These explorations might attract more tourists which will destroy its beauty and ecosystem of local in-habitats.
To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides several plausible arguments in favour of both views. However, in my opinion, advantages outweigh the disadvantages as the exploration not only result in important discoveries but it also helps kerb the human desire for adventure and thrill.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clearer wording Original: Planet earth Suggested revision: planet Earth Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 2. Grammar fix Original: is known to host Suggested revision: has hosted Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 3. Clearer wording Original: Scientists and tourists Suggested revision: scientists and tourists Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 4. Clearer wording Original: hidden natural place Suggested revision: remote natural places Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 5. Clearer wording Original: scientific researches Suggested revision: scientific research Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 6. Grammar fix Original: over its ecosystem Suggested revision: on their ecosystems Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 7. Clearer wording Original: distant natural ecosystem Suggested revision: distant natural ecosystems Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 8. Clearer wording Original: by scientist and sightseer Suggested revision: by scientists and tourists Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 9. Clearer wording Original: and impact of climatic changes Suggested revision: and the impact of climate change Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 10. Grammar fix Original: perform their research work Suggested revision: conduct research Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 11. Clearer wording Original: lakes in Himalaya's Suggested revision: lakes in the Himalayas Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 12. Clearer wording Original: relax their souls Suggested revision: relax in peaceful surroundings Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
Suggested Rewrites
- Planet earth planet Earth
- is known to host has hosted
- Scientists and tourists scientists and tourists
- hidden natural place remote natural places
- scientific researches scientific research
- over its ecosystem on their ecosystems
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks and gives a clear view that exploration's advantages are greater, supported by relevant scientific and tourism examples. The main limitation is that the final weighing is thin and sometimes contradictory, particularly the claim that increased tourism threatens ecosystems; the priority is to compare research benefits with environmental damage directly and explain what safeguards make the benefits prevail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The task is addressed with relevant content, but key details or reasoning need fuller precision.
Develop the main features or claims with exact, verifiable support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall structure, though local progression can be more precise.
Use explicit, economical sequencing and remove repetition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but several collocations or word choices are inaccurate.
Replace awkward combinations with standard academic or task-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of forms is attempted, but recurring grammar errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions and clause structure.