Government funding should be used to support sports and the arts in school rather than professional sports and arts for the general public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is perceived that financial support from the Government should be used for school games and crafts instead of expert sports and arts for the community. I totally agree with this idea because school recreations and creative arts are goal-oriented and beneficial to the government, community and school children.
To begin with, state authority funds should be allocated to sporting and creative arts in schools because these activities are purposeful. Firstly, they are performed to train young children so they can be sports and art professionals in the future. Also, to make school children versatile. For example, Most Nigerian schools engage their students in sports and creative arts so they can be experts in these activities when they are old and polyvalent. Therefore, funding school tournaments and creativity by the Government is preferable because they have objectives unlike the public’s own that are meant solely for entertainment and show off.
Furthermore, the advantages of school sports and crafts activities outweigh that of professional games and art for the public. To the Government, when these trained youths represent the country in a competition and win a medal, it will bring money to the nation’s purse. Also, the community and the contestant will receive praise and prize from individuals and the Government for making the citizens proud. To illustrate, Tobi Amusan, a Nigerian athlete who won a 100meters hurdle race in the 2020 Olympics, was said to be part of the students trained in athletics during high school. Her victory brought many benefits to her, the country and the Government. Therefore, the result of the Government’s investment in school recreational activities will be advantageous to many.
In conclusion, I agree that school activities should have a monetary backup from the Government. This is because they have a purpose and are advantageous to individuals and nations. Given this situation, the Government should direct resources to games and crafts in school so that children will have more than academic skills. More money will be generated for the country when they become professionals in these fields.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Lowercase common noun Original: Government Suggested revision: government Why it matters: Government is a common noun here and should not be capitalised.
- 2. Use task terminology Original: school games and crafts Suggested revision: school sports and arts Why it matters: Sports and arts matches the categories used in the task more precisely.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: expert Suggested revision: professional Why it matters: Professional is the natural adjective for paid or elite-level activities.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: recreations Suggested revision: sports Why it matters: Recreations is unnatural here and does not clearly name the activity discussed.
- 5. Simplify formal wording Original: state authority funds Suggested revision: government funds Why it matters: Government funds is the standard and clearer expression.
- 6. Restore parallel nouns Original: sporting Suggested revision: sports Why it matters: Sports is needed as a noun parallel to creative arts.
- 7. Fix capitalisation Original: Most Suggested revision: most Why it matters: Most should not be capitalised in the middle of a sentence.
- 8. Use comparative age Original: old Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Older expresses a later stage of life more naturally in this context.
- 9. Choose natural adjective Original: polyvalent Suggested revision: well-rounded Why it matters: Well-rounded is the natural term for children who develop a range of abilities.
- 10. Name the activities Original: funding school tournaments and creativity Suggested revision: funding school sports and creative arts Why it matters: Creativity is an abstract quality and cannot naturally be funded as an activity.
- 11. Clarify pronoun reference Original: because they have objectives Suggested revision: because these school activities have objectives Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes the unclear reference of they.
- 12. Replace unclear reference Original: the public’s own Suggested revision: professional activities for the public Why it matters: The possessive form is vague and does not clearly identify the compared activities.
Suggested Rewrites
- Government government
- school games and crafts school sports and arts
- expert professional
- recreations sports
- state authority funds government funds
- sporting sports
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with two relevant lines of argument, including a specific example. Its main limitation is that several claims are overgeneralised or only loosely explained, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each reason more critically and express it with natural, accurate vocabulary and complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported by relevant reasons, though some claims are broad and insufficiently examined.
Explain more precisely how school funding produces wider benefits and avoid unsupported contrasts with public or professional provision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure, but progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or repetitive.
Use fewer formulaic linking phrases and connect each supporting sentence more directly to the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent unnatural choices and collocations reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as 'expert sports,' 'polyvalent,' and 'monetary backup' with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although fragments, agreement errors, and article problems recur.
Prioritise complete sentences and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Government funding should be used to support sports and the arts in school rather than professional sports and arts for the general public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.