Government funding should be used to support sports and the arts in school rather than professional sports and arts for the general public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
The current issue is whether the government allocates its fundstheir fund to students or the general public. Generally, people espouse the notion that authorities should provide funds to schools to support sports and the arts. I opine that government funding should be used to encourage professional sports and arts for ordinary people. This essay will scrutinize both aspects of the issuequandary in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin with, proponents believe that government should use its fundingtheir money to encourage school students to participate in sports and arts activities because they can gainlearn theoretical knowledge and acquire new skills. Furthermore, the governmentauthority should allocate funds to schools to buy some essentialimperative equipment used for sports and arts activitiesused in sports and arts. Also, students choose their careers in these fields if they are not good at studies, so government funds support sports and arts. For example, in a 2009 reportin the report of 2009, which was published by BBC Newsconducted by BBC news, 45% of schools bought instruments with government fundingfrom the government fund.
Secondly, I vehemently believe that authorities should support the general public by providing funding for professional sports and the artsgiving funds for professional sports and arts to encourage youngsters to participate. In addition, the general public does not have the space to play professional sports and do arts, so the government should provide money, and solve this dilemma, so people use that money and buy ground. Moreover, because the arts have declinedbecause arts have disappeared, authorities should support the arts by providing fundingsupport arts by providing funds. To exemplify, in Chinachina, no one had an affinity for the artsaffinity towards arts, but after receivingthe government support, people loved arts and started practising.
In conclusion, I am considering these points from a personal perspective without a shadow of a doubt. I am inclined to believe that it is importantprominent to support professional sports and arts by providing government fundingfunds from the government.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear preference for funding professional sports and arts for the public, and its paragraph structure makes the broad line of argument easy to identify. However, several supporting ideas are only partly explained or logically unclear, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer, more credible reasons and express each through controlled sentences and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both funding options are discussed, but several reasons and examples are insufficiently developed or weakly convincing.
Explain how each funding choice produces a specific public benefit and support it with a plausible, directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognizable introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, though progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or unclear.
Organize each body paragraph around one main claim followed by a clear explanation and example, avoiding loosely connected additional points.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows some range, but frequent inaccurate or unnatural choices such as imperative equipment and prominent to support weaken precision.
Prioritize accurate common collocations and check that more ambitious words express the intended meaning in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is an attempt to use varied complex sentences, but agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-structure errors occur frequently.
Build shorter, well-controlled complex sentences and proofread subject-pronoun agreement, articles, and comma use.