All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty?
Sample Response
The gap between the rich and the poor is widening fast than ever throughout the world. This enormous gap certainly causes a lot of problems that a nation must endure solving through various means. This essay discusses the problems associated with paucity and proposes some solutions to alleviate poverty. There is almost an endless list of problems that stem from poverty. To name a few, scarcity of food, water, and clothing, weak shelters, the spread of dangerous diseases, indulgence in criminal activities, mental illness and low life expectancy. Poor people are trapped in horrendous insufficiency and cannot educate their children. The root cause of poverty is the lack of proper education and hence problems related to employment. This creates an evil circle of scarcity for poor families that they can not break. Moreover, poverty increases crimes in an area and this disturbs social harmony. Where the poor are struggling even harder to meet their basic means, the rich are getting pampered by the wealth and luxury. This discrimination can even lead to civil war. In order to overcome the problems of poverty, governments should do a careful and considerable analysis of the distribution of funds and wealth throughout the country. Non-profit voluntary organisations should work actively in rural areas for the upliftment of the poor, mainly in education and skill development areas. Furthermore, the rich and the prosperous should contribute financially and work selflessly towards creating job opportunities and helping destitute people. To conclude, the world would be a better place to live in only if we keep poverty from rising beyond limits. Poverty is a curse and a collaborative effort, education and employment opportunity can mitigate it to a great extent.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct comparative form Original: fast Suggested revision: faster Why it matters: The comparative adjective 'faster' is required before 'than'.
- 2. Fix verb construction Original: must endure solving Suggested revision: must solve Why it matters: The modal 'must' should be followed directly by the base verb that expresses the required action.
- 3. Reorder the modifiers Original: almost an endless list Suggested revision: an almost endless list Why it matters: The article should precede the adverb-modified adjective phrase.
- 4. Use a natural collocation Original: horrendous insufficiency Suggested revision: severe deprivation Why it matters: 'Severe deprivation' expresses the idea of extreme poverty more naturally.
- 5. Use the standard phrase Original: evil circle Suggested revision: vicious cycle Why it matters: 'Vicious cycle' is the established expression for a self-perpetuating problem.
- 6. Use precise topic language Original: paucity Suggested revision: poverty Why it matters: 'Poverty' names the social condition more precisely than the general scarcity implied by 'paucity'.
- 7. Use uncountable crime Original: crimes Suggested revision: crime Why it matters: 'Crime' is used uncountably when referring to criminal activity in general.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: means Suggested revision: needs Why it matters: People meet basic needs, while 'means' refers to resources or methods.
- 9. Strengthen the collocation Original: do a careful and considerable analysis Suggested revision: conduct a careful and thorough analysis Why it matters: 'Conduct an analysis' and 'thorough analysis' are more natural academic collocations.
- 10. Use concise formal wording Original: a lot of problems Suggested revision: many problems Why it matters: 'Many problems' is more concise and formal than 'a lot of problems'.
- 11. Make the wording specific Original: through various means Suggested revision: through targeted measures Why it matters: 'Targeted measures' conveys deliberate action more precisely than the vague word 'means'.
- 12. Use natural phrasing Original: are getting pampered by the wealth and luxury Suggested revision: are enjoying wealth and luxury Why it matters: The original passive construction is not idiomatic for describing the advantages of wealth.
Suggested Rewrites
- fast faster
- must endure solving must solve
- almost an endless list an almost endless list
- horrendous insufficiency severe deprivation
- evil circle vicious cycle
- paucity poverty
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response directly addresses both parts of the task and presents a clear, logically organised set of problems and remedies, with a particularly effective explanation of the poverty-education-employment cycle. Its main limitation is that several claims and solutions remain general or briefly listed, while recurring grammatical and collocational slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each proposed remedy with a clearer mechanism or concrete example while proofreading sentence structures and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered clearly, and the main problems and solutions are relevant, though some points remain general or only briefly supported.
Explain how the proposed funding, education, and employment measures would operate and illustrate at least one with a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the effects of poverty to possible remedies, with clear overall paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Divide the long discussion of problems into more focused idea units and use referencing to connect supporting details more smoothly.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys the topic effectively, although several combinations such as 'evil circle' and 'meet their basic means' are unnatural.
Prioritise accurate collocations and natural word choice when using less common vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors in comparison, sentence construction, and agreement reduce accuracy without obscuring meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause structure, correct comparative forms, and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.