A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?
Sample Response
When standards of living increase, it is primarily urban residents, not those in the countryside, who benefit. In my opinion, this can lead to opposite problems related to population density and is best mitigated by governmental action.
Inequality in terms of standard of living engenders population problems for cities and rural regions. Cities have become over-populated in the last century as they offer a wider range of educational, occupational, and recreational options. Elevated population density means that although residents can enjoy a higher standard of living generally, they must also overcome concomitant effects from overcrowding such as more traffic, less sanitary conditions, and higher crime rates. The inverse problem exists outside cities as residents leave and locals struggle to earn a living in sparsely populated towns and villages.
These related problems can best be countered by the authorities. There are various initiatives that could be implemented. One real-world example of this would be in Japan where the government in recent years has addressed dwindling population numbers in the countryside by auctioning off country homes cheaply. Prospective home-owners are often able to buy houses nearly for free if they agree to live and work in a town with few residents. Another possible measure would be for governments to invest more in urban infrastructure. Since migrations to cities are likely inevitable, this is a more pragmatic tactic.
In conclusion, the inverse issues created for rural and urban areas by rising standards of living can be effectively controlled if governments intervene. This issue will only become more pressing as the global middle class continues to grow.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose precise adjective Original: opposite Suggested revision: contrasting Why it matters: 'Contrasting' more accurately describes different urban and rural consequences.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: Inequality in terms of standard of living Suggested revision: Unequal improvements in living standards Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended disparity more directly.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: engenders population problems for cities and rural regions Suggested revision: creates population-related problems in both cities and rural regions Why it matters: The revision uses a more natural verb and clarifies that both areas are affected.
- 4. Use standard spelling Original: over-populated Suggested revision: overpopulated Why it matters: The standard form is written as one word without a hyphen.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: overcome concomitant effects from overcrowding Suggested revision: cope with the effects of overcrowding Why it matters: People normally 'cope with' adverse effects rather than 'overcome effects from' them.
- 6. Use precise noun Original: less sanitary conditions Suggested revision: poorer sanitation Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to describe reduced sanitary conditions.
- 7. Clarify rural contrast Original: The inverse problem exists outside cities Suggested revision: The opposite problem occurs in rural areas Why it matters: The revision names the location directly and uses a more natural verb.
- 8. Fix number and logic Original: migrations to cities are likely inevitable Suggested revision: migration to cities is likely to continue Why it matters: The revision fixes the number agreement and removes the contradictory combination of 'likely' and 'inevitable'.
- 9. Use natural timeframe Original: in the last century Suggested revision: over the past century Why it matters: This is the more natural expression for a change continuing up to the present.
- 10. Place adverb clearly Original: enjoy a higher standard of living generally Suggested revision: generally enjoy a higher standard of living Why it matters: Moving the adverb beside the verb makes its scope clearer.
- 11. Improve traffic collocation Original: more Suggested revision: heavier Why it matters: 'Heavier traffic' is a more precise collocation for increased congestion.
- 12. Use natural expression Original: nearly for free Suggested revision: for almost nothing Why it matters: This expresses the very low purchase price more idiomatically.
Suggested Rewrites
- opposite contrasting
- Inequality in terms of standard of living Unequal improvements in living standards
- engenders population problems for cities and rural regions creates population-related problems in both cities and rural regions
- over-populated overpopulated
- overcome concomitant effects from overcrowding cope with the effects of overcrowding
- less sanitary conditions poorer sanitation
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both questions directly, links urban overcrowding with rural depopulation, and proposes relevant government measures in a fluent, well-organised argument. The main limitation is that the urban-infrastructure solution is introduced only briefly and therefore feels less fully justified than the rural example. The highest-priority improvement is to explain exactly how each proposed measure would reduce the identified problem and improve living conditions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the problems and solutions are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed ideas and a clear overall position.
Extend the urban-infrastructure proposal with a specific mechanism or example showing how it would mitigate overcrowding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, and the contrast between urban and rural effects creates strong progression across the essay.
Integrate the two proposed solutions more explicitly with the corresponding problems to sharpen the argument's internal links.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary is used naturally, including effective terms such as concomitant effects, dwindling population, and pragmatic tactic.
Prefer slightly more natural phrasing where expressions such as opposite problems or migrations to cities sound less idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and very well controlled, with only rare minor awkwardness that does not affect clarity.
Polish occasional number and article choices, particularly in references to migration and population, to approach complete accuracy.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.