All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty?
Sample Response
More than 70% of global resources and wealth are controlled by only 7% of the population and it shows the overwhelming disparity in resource distributiondisparity of the resource distribution throughout the world. As a result of capitalism and unequalimproper distribution of facilities and resources, the poor are becoming even poorer while the rich are amassing more wealth. This causes unimaginable problems to the human and some steps should be implemented immediately to reduce the discrimination of wealth distribution. To begin with, the unequal distribution of wealthinequality of wealth distribution contributes to crimeincreases delinquency. It is noticeable that the crime rate all around the world has significantly increased as the wealthier are getting more affluent and the poor are suffering to support their basic needs. The overall development of a country does not depend on a small wealthy minoritya tiny portion of rich people; rather, it depends, rather it depends on a dynamic economy and fair wealth distributionan active economy and fair wealth distribution. Moreover, when the discrimination between rich and poor increases, the political situation deteriorates and a country steps into the verse of corruption and civil war. To reduce poverty,To overcome the poverty problem the state must emphasise quality education. Education is the most important solutionsingle most important answer to this problem. Moreover, the government should utilise the country's resourcesthe resources a country has and support small and medium-sized enterprisesthe small and medium entrepreneurs by providing subsidies. Finally, fundamental needsvery fundamental needs like education and healthcaretreatment should be funded by the state. For example, according to a recent article in a research journal, most rich nations in the world have been successful due to their strong education systemsbetter education system and fair governance systemssystem. To conclude, the widening gap between rich and poor bringsthe increasing gaps between rich and needy brings many predicaments to a country and quality education is the solution to the poverty problem. The government must ensure an active economy in the country to ensure fair resource distributiondistributions.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both questions with relevant problems, including crime, political instability, corruption, and conflict, and proposes education, small-business support, public services, and fair governance. Its strongest feature is the breadth of workable policy directions. The main limitation is that all ideas appear in one paragraph and several are asserted rather than explained; the priority is to develop one causal chain for each problem and show how each proposed measure directly reduces poverty.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both problem and solution aspects are covered with several relevant ideas, but development and the supporting example remain somewhat general.
Explain precisely how education, business subsidies, and publicly funded healthcare increase income or reduce vulnerability, using one credible country example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves from causes and consequences to solutions and conclusion, but the single-paragraph structure and mechanical sequencing weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, social and political problems, education and employment solutions, public-service measures, and conclusion into focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently broad for inequality, crime, governance, education, and economic policy, though inaccurate word choices and repetition are frequent.
Use precise phrases such as 'wealth inequality', 'meet basic needs', 'brink of civil conflict', 'healthcare', and 'fair distribution of resources'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but agreement, articles, plurals, punctuation, and clause linking contain recurring errors.
Correct forms such as 'the widening gap brings', 'resources are distributed', and 'crime rises when people cannot meet their basic needs'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.