Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In today's world, healthcare and education are two most important parts of people's life. Further, without proper education and sufficient health care system, a country can’t develop. However, the government has the responsible to create a healthy nation. Personally, I believe that the government should provide basic needs to create a healthy life and an educated nation independently.
Everyone prefer to have a fascinating life, but we cannot do whatever we want. Therefore, we have sacrificed some, such as drugs, tobacco, alcohol, and junk foods etc. for a healthy life. In the present days, people are busy with their day to day work. As a result majority of them are not having balanced diets and some of them take fast food or junk food. They do not concern health and also it will cause many diseases in future. For example, obesity, diabetes etc Further, from the young age everyone should concern about their health. Especially people not only should think about the physical health but also consider the mental health.
That is why the government should provide better health care and education for all citizens. The government is created by the taxes from valuable workforces of their country. Therefore, the government has the responsibility to offer them free health care facilities, heath education programme: such as healthy diet, clinics or hospitals for free medicine, etc. Further, the government can use social media to distribute health and education programme. Because nowadays, the majority of people are connected in social media. For example facebook, twitter etc. In addition, the government should implement such a law in order to increase a balanced lifestyle. For instance, due to the overpopulation of China, they have limited only one child for one family.
In conclusion, when I consider all given points it is clear that only the government cannot make a healthy nation. Therefore, individuals should have concerns to prevent future health issues. However, the government should enforce such a law in order to increase our standard of lifestyle and also provide basic needs to the people who are expected from the government. In fact, in my opinion, the government and individuals are both responsible for building a healthy nation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun phrase Original: two most important parts of people's life Suggested revision: two of the most important aspects of people's lives Why it matters: The superlative needs two of the, and lives must agree with people.
- 2. Add article Original: without proper education and sufficient health care system Suggested revision: without proper education and a sufficient health care system Why it matters: The singular countable noun system requires an article.
- 3. Use noun form Original: responsible Suggested revision: responsibility Why it matters: Responsibility is the noun required after has.
- 4. Fix agreement Original: prefer Suggested revision: prefers Why it matters: The singular pronoun everyone takes the third-person singular verb prefers.
- 5. Use natural time phrase Original: In the present days Suggested revision: Nowadays Why it matters: Nowadays is the natural expression for a general statement about the present.
- 6. Add comma and article Original: As a result majority Suggested revision: As a result, the majority Why it matters: The introductory connector needs a comma, and majority requires the definite article here.
- 7. Use simple present Original: are not having balanced diets Suggested revision: do not have balanced diets Why it matters: Use the simple present for a general habitual condition.
- 8. Fix food collocation Original: take Suggested revision: eat Why it matters: Eat is the natural verb for consuming food.
- 9. Complete the example Original: obesity, diabetes etc Suggested revision: obesity and diabetes. Why it matters: A complete list of two examples needs and and sentence-ending punctuation rather than etc.
- 10. Fix article choice Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The conventional general expression is from a young age.
- 11. Fix verb pattern Original: concern Suggested revision: care Why it matters: Concern is not used reflexively in this structure; care about expresses the intended meaning.
- 12. Fix word order Original: Especially people not only should Suggested revision: In particular, people should not only Why it matters: The modal verb should must precede not only, and the opening connector needs a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- two most important parts of people's life two of the most important aspects of people's lives
- without proper education and sufficient health care system without proper education and a sufficient health care system
- responsible responsibility
- prefer prefers
- In the present days Nowadays
- As a result majority As a result, the majority
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable paragraph structure and ultimately states that government and individuals share responsibility. However, it concentrates almost entirely on health care, leaving education largely unaddressed, and frequent language errors weaken clarity and precision. The highest-priority improvement is to plan balanced coverage of both required services and both viewpoints, then support each with directly relevant explanations and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses shared responsibility for health but gives almost no substantive treatment of education and includes some irrelevant support.
Develop both health care and education from the government and individual perspectives with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear.
Give each paragraph one clearly defined claim and use linking expressions only where the logical relationship is explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce precision.
Improve common combinations such as take responsibility for health, eat fast food, and fund public services through taxes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts both simple and complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence construction persist.
Prioritise accurate clause structure and subject-verb agreement before adding further sentence complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.