Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
As people have paid taxes to the government, it is believed that they should be provided with free healthcare and qualified education. However, others disagree with the statement, as they think that each individual should be responsible for his or her own health and education. The following essay will discuss both views in details. On the one hand, many people believe that it is the government's responsibility to provide standard health care and decent education to their people. As people have paid income taxes, property taxes, value added taxes and other kinds of fees to the government, these funds should also be beneficial for the people as well. Some portions of the budget should be allocated to fund medical activities and educational programs. Having a lot of educated and healthy residents brings many benefits for the government, as there are a lot of skill and productive labours in the country who would develop the country's economic sector. On the other hand, some people believe that health and education is a personal matter as it is the responsibility of each individual to maintain own their health and education. They disagree if education and healthcare should be funded from the taxes. They think that it is unfair because some people might be working hard and paid a large amount of taxes, but others might be indolent or jobless and get the same benefits from the government. Therefore they believe that healthcare and education should be standalone institutions, and each people should pay for getting a good education and maintaining their own health. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree that it is the government's task to provide education and healthcare for their people, as some poor people might not be able to get a good education and decent healthcare. However, although these services might be provided by the government for free, each individual's must be responsible for their own education and healthcare, as these services are funded by taxes that are paid by the public.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct collocation Original: qualified Suggested revision: quality Why it matters: 'Quality education' is the natural phrase for education of a high standard.
- 2. Fix fixed expression Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in detail' with a singular noun.
- 3. Choose precise adjective Original: standard Suggested revision: adequate Why it matters: 'Adequate' more clearly describes care that meets an acceptable standard.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: decent education to their people Suggested revision: decent education for their citizens Why it matters: Services are provided for recipients, and 'citizens' is more precise in this context.
- 5. Remove redundant wording Original: also be beneficial for the people as well Suggested revision: benefit the public Why it matters: 'Also' and 'as well' duplicate each other, while the verb form is more direct.
- 6. Use natural quantity Original: Some portions Suggested revision: A portion Why it matters: A singular portion naturally refers to part of the overall government budget.
- 7. Name services precisely Original: fund medical activities Suggested revision: fund healthcare services Why it matters: 'Healthcare services' more precisely describes the public provision being financed.
- 8. Identify beneficiary clearly Original: many benefits for the government Suggested revision: many benefits to the country Why it matters: The stated economic benefit applies to the country more directly than to the government itself.
- 9. Fix word forms Original: a lot of skill and productive labours Suggested revision: many skilled and productive workers Why it matters: The adjective 'skilled' and countable noun 'workers' are required for people.
- 10. Express contribution accurately Original: who would develop Suggested revision: who can help develop Why it matters: 'Can help develop' clearly expresses the workers' potential contribution.
- 11. Fix word order Original: maintain own their health and education Suggested revision: manage their own health and education Why it matters: The possessive phrase must follow the order 'their own'.
- 12. Use correct clause link Original: if Suggested revision: that Why it matters: 'Disagree that' correctly introduces the proposition they reject.
Suggested Rewrites
- qualified quality
- details detail
- standard adequate
- decent education to their people decent education for their citizens
- also be beneficial for the people as well benefit the public
- Some portions A portion
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both perspectives and gives a qualified opinion, with relevant taxation and fairness arguments supporting the discussion. Its main weakness is that the final position is somewhat blurred by suggesting both state provision and individual responsibility without clearly defining how these duties differ, while frequent language errors reduce polish. Clarify the division of responsibility in the thesis and conclusion, then edit systematically for agreement, word form, and natural collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant supporting ideas, and an opinion is given, although the precise division of responsibility remains insufficiently defined.
State clearly which services the government should fund and which personal actions individuals should retain responsibility for, then sustain that distinction throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion follows a logical two-sided sequence, but the absence of clear paragraph breaks and some repetitive linking weaken the organisation.
Separate the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs while using fewer mechanical signposts.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but recurring collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Review combinations such as qualified education, productive labours, and each people, choosing accurate nouns and natural adjective-noun partnerships.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, but agreement, possessive, and verb-form errors recur despite meaning remaining clear.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and noun phrase accuracy, especially with collective ideas such as health and education and singular forms such as each individual.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.