Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In today’s era, education and Health are the basic needs of everyone’s life. The development of a nation is highly dependent on how healthy and educated are the citizens of that nation. Some individuals opine that these elemental facilities should be provided by the Government in free, while others suggest that it is the responsibility of a person. Initially, I shall Sautinise both perspectives, and Then my own opinion will be illustrated.
To begin with, educational and health care services may be provided by the governments in free to their citizens. This approach will result in a Plethora of benefits for the dwellers of the Country; Firstly, considering the educational facilities if the Government provided free education to the children, everyone will have the opportunity to be educated, no matter they are from a poor or rich background. This will ensure guaranteed education for every child. Consequently, each pupil will get employment opportunities. Besides, they may concentrate on the class properly, because they will have no worries about funds and loans for their education. Moving to the Health Care System, some low-income families are not able to afford the expenses of chronic diseases like diabetes and heart problems. The free health care system may financially relax them. Owned by Government. The Government Can accumulate funds from the citizens in the form of tax. For example, almost all developed Countries have adopted this approach. They collect money for unpaid educational and Health Services through taxation.
On the other hand, Some individuals believe that education and Health should be the duty of the person himself. There are numerous reasons overcrowd the institutions and hospitals if they do not charge a single penny. It will downplay the quality-of Services. Apart from this, people will overuse the facilities and will create the problem for them who are emergency in case of medical issues. Although free education will employ citizens, it will also increase unemployment because the resources are limited on the globe.
To recapitulate, there are various pros and Cons of both free and paid services. I believe that the Government should Provide unpaid facilities to only those who are in need. Gondénment should make a System to register the economically weak people to provide them free education and health benefits.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Lowercase common noun Original: Health Suggested revision: health Why it matters: “Health” is a common noun and should not be capitalised here.
- 2. Fix clause order Original: how healthy and educated are the citizens Suggested revision: how healthy and educated the citizens are Why it matters: An embedded question uses statement word order rather than subject-verb inversion.
- 3. Correct expression Original: the Government in free Suggested revision: the government free of charge Why it matters: “Free of charge” is the idiomatic phrase for a service provided without payment.
- 4. Clarify the group Original: responsibility of a person Suggested revision: responsibility of each individual Why it matters: The revision precisely refers to personal responsibility across the population.
- 5. Correct spelling Original: Sautinise Suggested revision: scrutinise Why it matters: “Scrutinise” is the correctly spelled verb for examining both perspectives closely.
- 6. Lowercase conjunction Original: Then Suggested revision: then Why it matters: “Then” should not be capitalised in the middle of the sentence.
- 7. Correct expression Original: the governments in free Suggested revision: governments free of charge Why it matters: The revised phrase states naturally that governments provide the services without payment.
- 8. Lowercase common noun Original: Plethora Suggested revision: plethora Why it matters: “Plethora” is a common noun and does not require a capital letter.
- 9. Use precise term Original: dwellers of the Country Suggested revision: residents of the country Why it matters: “Residents” is more natural than “dwellers” when referring to a country’s population.
- 10. Repair transition Original: Firstly, considering the educational facilities if Suggested revision: regarding education, if Why it matters: The revised transition connects the education example without leaving a loose introductory phrase.
- 11. Match conditional tense Original: Government provided free education Suggested revision: government provides free education Why it matters: The present form fits the real policy condition introduced by “if.”
- 12. Use whether clause Original: no matter they are from Suggested revision: regardless of whether they are from Why it matters: “Whether” is required to introduce the alternative backgrounds being contrasted.
Suggested Rewrites
- Health health
- how healthy and educated are the citizens how healthy and educated the citizens are
- the Government in free the government free of charge
- responsibility of a person responsibility of each individual
- Sautinise scrutinise
- Then then
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both positions and ends with a clear, practical opinion, while the government-funded side includes several relevant explanations. The main limitation is uneven development: the individual-responsibility case is brief and partly unclear, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors sometimes disrupt meaning. The highest priority is to build the second view with a precise reason and example, then revise malformed sentences and inaccurate word choices so each point is immediately understandable.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is given, but the case for individual responsibility is comparatively brief and insufficiently developed.
Develop the second view with one clearly explained argument and a specific example before presenting the final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is appropriate and the central line of argument is generally traceable, despite some abrupt fragments and mechanical transitions.
Ensure every sentence connects grammatically and logically to the preceding point, especially within the two body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss public services, but frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices limit precision.
Use familiar, accurate terms such as free services, relieve financial pressure, and people needing emergency care instead of forced alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are both attempted, but frequent agreement, article, clause, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors reduce control.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and dependent clauses during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.