Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The purpose of learning a new language has long been a subject of debate, with some asserting that its sole purpose lies in facilitating travel or employment abroad while others argue that it serves broader intellectual and cultural purposes. This essay will explore both perspectives and present my stance on the matter emphasising that learning a foreign language brings multifaceted advantages beyond utilitarian aspects.
On the one hand, those who believe that proficiency in a foreign language should be solely for employment and travel opine that we should learn a second language to enhance our communication skills during travel or work in foreign countries. For instance, fluency in Spanish allows individuals to immerse themselves in the rich cultures of various Latin American countries, fostering meaningful connections with locals and gaining a deeper appreciation for their traditions. Moreover, being bilingual or multilingual opens up a plethora of job opportunities in international organizations, diplomacy, and tourism sectors, where language skills are highly valued.
On the other hand, others believe asserting that learning a foreign language is solely for practical purposes overlooks the intrinsic value of this endeavour. Mastering another language broadens one's horizons and nurtures a deeper understanding of diverse worldviews. For example, delving into the nuances of Japanese grammar and culture enables learners to appreciate the intricacies of traditional Japanese literature, such as haiku or tanka, and thereby fosters a profound cultural exchange. Furthermore, language acquisition bolsters cognitive functions, including memory retention and problem-solving skills. Studies have shown that bilingual individuals exhibit enhanced cognitive flexibility, as they are constantly switching between languages and adapting to different linguistic structures.
In conclusion, while learning a foreign language facilitates travel and career prospects, its scope transcends these utilitarian goals. Embracing linguistic diversity nurtures cultural appreciation, fosters cognitive development, and enriches personal experiences. Therefore, learning a foreign language is a multifaceted pursuit that opens doors to a world of opportunities, expands the horizons of understanding, and broadens our perspectives on global interconnectedness.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add separating comma Original: matter emphasising Suggested revision: matter, emphasising Why it matters: A comma is needed before the participial phrase that explains how the stance is presented.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: multifaceted advantages beyond utilitarian aspects Suggested revision: multiple benefits beyond practical purposes Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the contrast more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Complete passive form Original: should be solely for employment and travel Suggested revision: should be learned solely for employment and travel Why it matters: Proficiency itself cannot be for a purpose, so the sentence needs a passive verb referring to the language.
- 4. Choose natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Argue is a more natural reporting verb in this academic context.
- 5. Improve travel phrase Original: during travel Suggested revision: while travelling Why it matters: This is the more idiomatic way to describe communication that occurs on a trip.
- 6. Avoid inflated phrasing Original: plethora of job opportunities Suggested revision: wide range of job opportunities Why it matters: The revision keeps the meaning while using a more measured academic expression.
- 7. Fix sector phrase Original: tourism sectors Suggested revision: the tourism sector Why it matters: Tourism is normally treated as one sector here and requires the definite article.
- 8. Add linking that Original: others believe asserting that Suggested revision: others believe that asserting that Why it matters: The clause after believe needs that before the gerund phrase begins.
- 9. Clarify intended outcome Original: a profound cultural exchange Suggested revision: a deeper cultural understanding Why it matters: The example describes learners gaining understanding rather than people directly exchanging cultures.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Therefore, learning a foreign language is a multifaceted pursuit that opens doors to a world of opportunities, expands the horizons of understanding, and broadens our perspectives on global interconnectedness. Suggested revision: Therefore, learning a foreign language broadens our horizons and deepens our understanding of global interconnectedness. Why it matters: The revision removes repetitive metaphors and gives the final point a more concise progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- matter emphasising matter, emphasising
- multifaceted advantages beyond utilitarian aspects multiple benefits beyond practical purposes
- should be solely for employment and travel should be learned solely for employment and travel
- opine argue
- during travel while travelling
- plethora of job opportunities wide range of job opportunities
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear position and develops both views with relevant, specific examples, while its controlled progression and sophisticated language make the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is occasional over-elaboration and slightly unnatural phrasing, particularly where cultural benefits overlap with travel. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen that distinction and express a few claims more directly and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear personal position are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed explanations and examples.
Distinguish the broader cultural rationale more sharply from the travel-related benefits to avoid slight conceptual overlap.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, balanced body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Trim minor repetition in the conclusion so the final position is stated more economically.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional slightly inflated or unnatural phrasing.
Prefer more direct collocations in places where expressions such as utilitarian aspects or profound cultural exchange sound overly elaborate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few local slips do not affect clarity.
Polish punctuation and clause linking in the occasional awkward construction to make already strong sentences fully controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.