Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many people believe economic development is the only solution to end hunger and poverty, while others think that economic growth should be stopped due to the harmful effects it has on the environment. In this essay, I will examine both arguments and then give my personal opinion.
It is true that economic growth has taken a heavy toll on the environment. Firstly, the ever increasing demand for industrial development has led to the construction of more factories and manufacturing facilities, which has significantly raised the volume of atmospheric greenhouse gases, which are considered to be the main culprit behind global warming. Furthermore, human activities, such as clearing forests for farming, are directly responsible for the loss of natural habitats for many wild plants and animals, pushing these species to the verge of extinction. This, together with the unsustainable exploitation of natural resources, poses serious threats to the survival of mankind, especially with today’s rapidly increasing population.
However, trying to stop the economy from developing, due to the drawbacks, is not a rational approach, for economic growth is still the most effective measure to tackle poverty and hunger. A healthy economy will create more employment opportunities for those who come from underprivileged backgrounds, and thus ensure stable income for these people. Therefore, they will be able to earn enough money to cover basic living expenses. Besides this, economic growth also has a crucial role to play in the fight against hunger. With a more generous budget to invest in agricultural development, for example, governments can invest in modern machinery to automate the labour-intensive processes of growing and harvesting crops. Such a boost in productivity will increase food production and eventually put an end to hunger.
In conclusion, it is understandable why many people believe that economic growth should be stopped to protect our environment, however, I think the government should not rely on such a desperate measure because the benefits brought about by economic growth, not only in the fight against poverty and hunger, are far more significant than the drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve the collocation Original: the loss of natural habitats for many wild plants and animals Suggested revision: the destruction of habitats for many wild plants and animals Why it matters: Habitat destruction is a more precise collocation for the environmental damage described.
- 2. Use inclusive wording Original: the survival of mankind Suggested revision: human survival Why it matters: Human survival is a concise and contemporary alternative that preserves the meaning.
- 3. Clarify the connection Original: especially with today’s rapidly increasing population Suggested revision: especially given today’s rapidly growing population Why it matters: Given makes the relationship to the preceding threat clearer than with.
- 4. Remove faulty commas Original: developing, due to the drawbacks, Suggested revision: developing because of these drawbacks Why it matters: The commas incorrectly isolate an essential reason phrase, while these gives the reference a clear antecedent.
- 5. Add the article Original: ensure stable income for these people Suggested revision: ensure a stable income for them Why it matters: Income is a singular countable noun here and requires an article.
- 6. Use formal transition Original: Besides this Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: In addition is a more precise academic transition for another supporting point.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: has a crucial role to play Suggested revision: plays a crucial role Why it matters: The revision conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 8. Use precise quantity Original: a more generous budget Suggested revision: a larger budget Why it matters: Larger describes the size of a budget more precisely than generous.
- 9. Fix the comma splice Original: environment, however, Suggested revision: environment; however, Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before however when it joins two independent clauses.
- 10. Use a general plural Original: the government should not rely Suggested revision: governments should not rely Why it matters: The plural form matches the essay's general claim rather than referring to one unspecified government.
- 11. Fix incomplete pairing Original: not only in the fight against poverty and hunger Suggested revision: particularly in the fight against poverty and hunger Why it matters: Not only requires a corresponding but also element, so particularly expresses the intended emphasis without an incomplete pair.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Firstly, the ever increasing demand for industrial development has led to the construction of more factories and manufacturing facilities, which has significantly raised the volume of atmospheric greenhouse gases, which are considered to be the main culprit behind global warming. Suggested revision: Firstly, the ever-increasing demand for industrial development has led to the construction of more factories and manufacturing facilities. This expansion has significantly increased atmospheric greenhouse-gas emissions, which are considered a major cause of global warming. Why it matters: Splitting the sentence removes the repeated which clauses and makes the causal sequence easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- the loss of natural habitats for many wild plants and animals the destruction of habitats for many wild plants and animals
- the survival of mankind human survival
- especially with today’s rapidly increasing population especially given today’s rapidly growing population
- developing, due to the drawbacks, developing because of these drawbacks
- ensure stable income for these people ensure a stable income for them
- Besides this In addition
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, clearly reasoned discussion of environmental harm and the role of growth in reducing poverty and hunger, supported by relevant causal examples. Its main limitation is occasional awkwardness in long sentences and a somewhat formulaic use of linking expressions. The highest-priority improvement is to streamline complex sentences and express the final comparison more precisely, preserving the strong argument while improving grammatical control and natural flow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are examined in depth, and the writer's clear opinion is supported by relevant explanations of employment and agricultural productivity.
Make the final position even more precise by directly acknowledging how environmental safeguards could accompany continued growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly through the two views, although some connectors are formulaic and a few long sentences carry too many linked ideas.
Use fewer overt sequencing phrases and divide the most heavily coordinated sentences to create a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource
A wide, topic-specific vocabulary communicates complex ideas precisely, with only occasional awkward choices such as volume of atmospheric greenhouse gases.
Refine the few imprecise collocations by choosing terms such as greenhouse-gas emissions or atmospheric concentration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequent and generally well controlled, but punctuation and clause construction become unreliable in a few extended sentences.
Correct comma splices and simplify the concluding sentence so each clause has a clear grammatical relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.