Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people think that giving some money to children on a weekly basis will assist them in becoming more capable when they grow older. I personally disagree with the statement and the following essay will discuss some of my reasons for disagreement. Firstly, by giving a small amount of money to children regularly we are not teaching them about being independent. It is a fact that children are learning many things from their parents in the early age and parents must do their best in becoming a good role model for them. By giving money to children routinely, these parents are teaching their children that they do not have to work hard or do something important to earn money. They will learn that someone will give them some money every week which they could spend on. For example, I can recall some of my cousins who regularly get a good amount of money from their parents and yet they have not build up any habit of being independent or any sense of saving money for the rainy days. Secondly, the money could be misused by the children as they could spend it for buying inappropriate stuff. It is undeniable that children are not yet mature and do not have the wisdom in managing their own money. They might purchase things which might be inappropriate for them, especially in third world countries where children are allowed to buy cigarettes or alcoholic beverages. Many teenagers, for example, get money from their parents and spend those for buying drugs or cigarettes which eventually harm their future rather than making any good. In conclusion, some people believe giving children a small amount of money each week would help them in becoming more capable when they become adults. I do not agree with the statement as I believe that it could spoil them and the money could be misused. I agree if parents would teach children to earn some money by having a part-time job during the summer holiday, therefore they will appreciate their income and spend it wisely.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise time phrase Original: on a weekly basis Suggested revision: each week Why it matters: Each week expresses the frequency directly and concisely.
- 2. Simplify verb pattern Original: assist them in becoming Suggested revision: help them become Why it matters: Help takes the bare infinitive naturally in this construction.
- 3. Use natural noun phrase Original: disagreement Suggested revision: disagreeing Why it matters: The gerund phrase states the writer's action more naturally.
- 4. Separate opening clause Original: children regularly we Suggested revision: children regularly, we Why it matters: A comma is required after the introductory participial phrase.
- 5. Fix independence phrase Original: teaching them about being independent Suggested revision: teaching them to be independent Why it matters: Teach someone to be is the natural construction for developing independence.
- 6. Use general present Original: children are learning many things Suggested revision: children learn many things Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for a general process.
- 7. Fix age expression Original: in the early age Suggested revision: at an early age Why it matters: At an early age is the correct prepositional phrase and requires the indefinite article.
- 8. Fix infinitive complement Original: do their best in becoming Suggested revision: do their best to be Why it matters: Do one's best is followed by a to-infinitive.
- 9. Match plural parents Original: a good role model for them Suggested revision: good role models for them Why it matters: The plural subject parents requires the plural complement role models.
- 10. Remove stranded preposition Original: which they could spend on Suggested revision: which they could spend Why it matters: Money is spent, while money is spent on must be followed by an object.
- 11. Use precise amount phrase Original: get a good amount of money Suggested revision: receive a substantial amount of money Why it matters: Receive and substantial are more precise in formal writing.
- 12. Correct past participle Original: build Suggested revision: built Why it matters: The present perfect requires the past participle built.
Suggested Rewrites
- on a weekly basis each week
- assist them in becoming help them become
- disagreement disagreeing
- children regularly we children regularly, we
- teaching them about being independent teaching them to be independent
- children are learning many things children learn many things
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with two relevant concerns: unconditional money may weaken independence, and children may spend it unwisely. Its main limitation is narrow, overgeneralised reasoning, especially the leap from a small allowance to cigarettes or drugs, while dense single-paragraph presentation and frequent language errors reduce control; prioritise a balanced analysis of supervised allowances and develop realistic evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both main reasons are relevantly explained with examples, but the argument assumes all weekly money is unconditional and relies on extreme outcomes.
Distinguish an unmonitored allowance from money linked to chores or budgeting, then explain why the preferred alternative develops capability more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a clear introduction–reason–reason–conclusion sequence, but the entire essay is one paragraph and cohesion relies heavily on basic sequencing labels.
Create separate paragraphs for independence and spending risks, each with a clear topic sentence and a tightly connected example.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing money, independence, maturity, and spending, but repetition and several informal or inaccurate collocations limit precision.
Use concise terms such as “financial independence,” “budgeting skills,” “misuse an allowance,” and “harm their prospects” instead of repetitive or vague phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are used, but errors in tense, articles, verb forms, pronouns, prepositions, and conditionals recur throughout.
Correct forms such as “at an early age,” “have not built,” “spend it on,” and “I would agree if parents taught children.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.