Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Caregivers share common groundthe common ground when it comes to childcare activities. In this regard, showing the ropesthe correct ropes for a growing child to become a shining star in life has been considered important for yearshas been a monopoly for years. Giving weekly pocket money for their wards seemsseem to be a helpful method to help them becomemake them grow as more competent individuals, according to some parents. While this practice is beneficialis being beneficial to a certain extent, I also believe it has its own drawbacks.
Money given on a weekly basis to children could help them to become adept at financial management in future. This is because right from childhood they would know the value of money and what can be bought and how much it costswhat can be bought with how much cost. Besides, they would also be exposedwould have also been exposed to situations wherein they have to save two weeks' worth of moneya fortnight’s money to get something essential. For example, a 2014 study of children's attitudes to finance shows thata recent study on child’s attitude to finance, 2014, presents that, if Rs 50 is given per week to a child, the child would plan their spendingthe response would be planned expenditure in the fourth week in comparison with the first week. All in all, this change in perception of finance and its efficient planning would definitely help every child later in lifehelp out in the future life of every child.
On the flipside, money given to childrenthe penny allotted for children at an early age could harmdeteriorate their lives. There is a high probability thatThere are high probabilities that they may be misled because of their peersdue to their acquaintance. Take, for instance,Take for an instance, a child whose essentials are taken care of by their parentstaken care by parents and does not want to spend money on anything, a companion of the child, in particular at the adolescent stage, might make him indulge in some anti- social activities like smoking or drinking. Therefore, until a child maturesgets matured to become aware of the ins and outs of life, even a single penny given would lead him or her away fromdrift away him or her from the path of life.
In conclusion, though a grown-up man or woman takes some time to get on grips economically and attain a social status, it is all a part and parcel of life. In my opinion, the early stage of life, childhood should only be spent for having academic skills as well as pedagogic learning of basic expenses. But if mothers and fathers trustthe mother’s and father’s trust this method, the expenses are to be followed by them to borne fruitful results out of this.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay is clearly organised into contrasting arguments and gives relevant explanations and an example about children's financial management. Its main limitation is an imprecise position: the discussion shifts between benefits, serious risks, and conditional acceptance, while frequent awkward wording sometimes obscures the reasoning. The priority is to state a consistent degree of agreement and make each paragraph and the conclusion directly support that judgment in precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the claim through benefits and drawbacks, but its degree of agreement remains insufficiently clear and some support is implausible or loosely focused.
State a precise position in the introduction and use both body paragraphs to justify that same judgment before restating it directly in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and an overall advantages-versus-risks structure support progression, although some links are mechanical and the conclusion becomes difficult to follow.
Give each paragraph a sharply focused topic sentence and make the conclusion summarise the established argument without introducing loosely connected points.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows range and includes topic-specific language, but frequent inaccurate collocations, forced idioms, and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Prefer natural combinations such as learn financial responsibility and be influenced by peers, and avoid idioms unless their meaning and register are secure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, possessive, and sentence-structure errors sometimes strain comprehension.
Edit each sentence for a complete clause structure, accurate subject-verb agreement, and correct possessives before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.