The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter: - say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience - explain how you feel about it - give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to you to forward my suggestion for opening a cafeteria of our own in our office premises.
Our employees face severe inconvenience due to the lack of a cafeteria on our office premises. To begin with, we have strict deadlines to adhere to for most of the projects and employees often need coffee or tea breaks. But, the lack of a cafeteria service forces them to walk across the road. They often complain that it kills their valuable time. Moreover, some of our employees, who bring food from home, are forced to eat their lunch on staircases - which is not a pleasant experience for them.
I believe we need to have a cafeteria of our own so that our employees do not waste their time by going back and forth to a cafeteria that is located across the road. I also feel that we need to offer a suitable place to our employees so that they can enjoy their lunch.
Therefore, I would recommend a snack bar and a cafeteria in our company's recreational area that can accommodate more than 25 people at a time and serve snacks and drinks. We can hire a couple of staff for the canteen so that they serve the need of our employees. This place will also work as a stress-relieving area where employees can relax over a cup of coffee.
I hope you would consider my suggestions.
Yours faithfully,
Michael Arlen
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State purpose directly Original: to forward my suggestion for opening Suggested revision: to propose opening Why it matters: Forward my suggestion is not natural in this context.
- 2. Fix preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: On is the standard preposition with premises.
- 3. Moderate the wording Original: severe Suggested revision: considerable Why it matters: Considerable is a more natural collocation for this workplace problem.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: for most of the projects Suggested revision: on most projects Why it matters: Employees work on projects rather than adhere to deadlines for projects.
- 5. Fix sentence transition Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: But should not be followed by a comma in this position.
- 6. Use formal collocation Original: kills their valuable time Suggested revision: wastes valuable time Why it matters: The original expression is too informal and unnatural.
- 7. Fix noun and punctuation Original: staircases - which Suggested revision: the stairs, which Why it matters: The natural phrase is on the stairs, and a comma introduces the relative clause.
- 8. Make phrasing concise Original: going back and forth to a cafeteria that is located across the road Suggested revision: repeatedly visiting the cafeteria across the road Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary wording while preserving the point.
- 9. Fix number and collocation Original: serve the need of our employees Suggested revision: meet our employees' needs Why it matters: Meet needs is the standard collocation, and needs should be plural.
- 10. Name the facility Original: a cafeteria service Suggested revision: an on-site cafeteria Why it matters: This identifies the missing workplace facility more precisely.
- 11. Remove unnecessary determiner Original: eat their lunch Suggested revision: eat lunch Why it matters: Lunch normally takes no possessive determiner in this expression.
- 12. Specify staffing Original: a couple of staff Suggested revision: two staff members Why it matters: This is clearer and more formal than the collective phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- to forward my suggestion for opening to propose opening
- in on
- severe considerable
- for most of the projects on most projects
- But However
- kills their valuable time wastes valuable time
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is purposeful, well developed, and professionally organised, covering staff complaints, the writer's view, and concrete plans for a cafeteria. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in several collocations and some repeated wording, although communication remains consistently clear. The best refinement is to condense repeated justification and use more natural phrases when proposing the facility and staffing arrangements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The request is clear, appropriately formal, and fully develops staff inconvenience, the writer's feelings, and feasible setup suggestions.
Make the proposal even more actionable by identifying one preferred facility rather than recommending both a snack bar and a cafeteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and purposeful, and the letter progresses smoothly from the problem through personal reaction to practical recommendations.
Trim repeated explanations about employees leaving the premises so each paragraph contributes distinct information.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a strong range of workplace and proposal vocabulary, with a few unnatural expressions such as forward my suggestion and serve the need.
Use more idiomatic phrases such as propose setting up, meet employees' needs, and waste valuable time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, while only minor article, preposition, punctuation, and agreement slips occur.
Polish small details such as on the premises, meet the needs of employees, and punctuation before non-defining relative clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter:
- say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience
- explain how you feel about it
- give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.