You have noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter: - explain why you are suggesting this - which room it is - what changes in the room will need to be done
Sample Response
Dear Mr Bradley, I am a junior executive in your organisation and have been working here for the past two yearsfor the last 2 years. I believe a few more recreational facilities would refresh us to produce better output and for that, we can convert a spare room into the relaxation and sports room in our office. I hope you will considerI am hoping you would consider my idea and take steps to implement ittake steps to make it happen. The idea occurred to mepopped into my head when I attended a meeting at the H&G Group'sgroup's head office. They have a large room for recreation and relaxation and their HR mentioned that it actually increased their employee satisfaction and overall performance. I would like to have a recreation room in our office as well. In additionAs a matter of fact, I have spokentalked to some of my colleagues and all of them have welcomed the ideaall of them welcomed the idea. The meeting room on the third floor is no longer used and could be an ideal spaceroom for our staff to rest, socialise and spend their breaksenjoy their time and relieve their stressunlax their pressure. This room already has a large table and a few chairs. It needs a full-sized table tennis tablea large table tennis board, a few more chairs, a sofaa sofa set and a couple of exercise machines. I hope you willwould consider converting the room into a relaxation room and help create an even better office environmentallow us to have an even better office environment. Yours sincerely, Rohan Maxim
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter makes a persuasive case for a relaxation room by linking it to employee satisfaction and performance, identifies the unused third-floor meeting room, and proposes specific furnishings and equipment. Its main limitation is awkward, sometimes inaccurate wording and an undivided paragraph that blurs the three requested areas. The priority is to organise the proposal by rationale, location, and modifications while using precise language for stress relief and recreational equipment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully addressed with relevant evidence, a specific room, existing furniture, and a clear list of proposed additions.
Strengthen the practical proposal by mentioning any repainting, storage, safety, scheduling, or budget considerations needed before conversion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from benefits and colleague support to the room and required changes, but all content is presented in one dense paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the reason, the location and current condition, and the proposed equipment and alterations.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for workplace benefits and facilities, though several collocations and one invented word reduce precision.
Replace 'refresh us to produce better output', 'table tennis board', and 'unlax their pressure' with 'improve productivity', 'table-tennis table', and 'relieve stress'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms conveys the proposal clearly, but articles, verb patterns, coordination, and pronoun reference contain recurring errors.
Refine structures such as 'convert the spare room into a relaxation area' and 'allow staff to rest, socialise, and relieve stress'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter:
- explain why you are suggesting this
- which room it is
- what changes in the room will need to be done
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.