You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain the situation - say what action you would like the company to take
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Emilly Brooks, and I am writing to you regarding a recent purchase I made from your company. I purchased a new iPhone 15 Pro mobile phone from your store last week. Unfortunately, I am disappointed to report that the phone has stopped working after just a few days of use. I am hoping that you will replace the mobile with a new one or refund my money immediately.
I contacted one of your company representatives about this issue a week ago, explaining the situation and seeking assistance. However, I have not received any update or resolution since then. As a loyal customer of your brand, I am concerned about the lack of response and the inconvenience caused by the malfunctioning device.
I kindly request that you take immediate action to address this matter. I would highly appreciate it if you could arrange for the replacement of the defective phone as soon as possible, and if that is not possible, please refund the money I paid to purchase it. Additionally, I would like to request compensation for the inconvenience caused by the malfunctioning device and the delay in resolving the issue.
I trust in your commitment to customer satisfaction and hope for a swift and satisfactory resolution to this matter soon. Otherwise, I will be forced to take legal action if I do not hear from you in two weeks.
Thank you for your attention to this issue.
Yours faithfully,
Emilly Brook
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun Original: mobile Suggested revision: phone Why it matters: “Phone” is more precise and natural than “mobile” in this formal request.
- 2. Add articles Original: any update or resolution Suggested revision: an update or a resolution Why it matters: Singular countable nouns need articles in this construction.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: loyal customer of your brand Suggested revision: long-standing customer Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise description of the customer relationship.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: for the replacement of the defective phone Suggested revision: a replacement for the defective phone Why it matters: “A replacement for” is the more natural collocation here.
- 5. Make request concise Original: refund the money I paid to purchase it Suggested revision: refund the purchase price Why it matters: This expresses the requested remedy more directly and formally.
- 6. Remove repetition Original: resolution to this matter soon Suggested revision: resolution to this matter Why it matters: “Swift” already conveys urgency, so “soon” is repetitive.
- 7. Match the name Original: Brook Suggested revision: Brooks Why it matters: The surname in the sign-off should match the name given in the opening.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Otherwise, I will be forced to take legal action if I do not hear from you in two weeks. Suggested revision: If I do not hear from you within two weeks, I will consider pursuing the matter further. Why it matters: This keeps the deadline firm while maintaining a more measured formal tone.
Suggested Rewrites
- mobile phone
- any update or resolution an update or a resolution
- loyal customer of your brand long-standing customer
- for the replacement of the defective phone a replacement for the defective phone
- refund the money I paid to purchase it refund the purchase price
- resolution to this matter soon resolution to this matter
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is strongest in its clear formal purpose, complete coverage of the requested points, and logically staged request for a remedy. Its main limitation is a slight timeline inconsistency between buying the phone last week and contacting the representative a week ago, alongside some repetitive wording. Clarifying the chronology and stating the specific malfunction would make the complaint more precise and persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, and the formal tone is generally appropriate despite a minor timeline inconsistency.
Clarify exactly when the purchase and earlier contact occurred, and briefly specify how the phone stopped working.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through the purchase, previous contact, requested resolution, and closing, with effective paragraphing and linking.
Streamline repeated references to the malfunction and resolution so each paragraph advances the complaint more distinctly.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a suitably formal and varied vocabulary, although phrases such as "malfunctioning device" and "resolving the issue" are repeated.
Use more precise technical detail about the fault and vary repeated complaint-related wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, with only minor awkwardness that does not impede communication.
Refine longer conditional and request sentences to make them slightly more concise and natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You spoke to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain the situation
- say what action you would like the company to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.