The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter: - say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience - explain how you feel about it - give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, Hope I did not catch you at a busy time since I am sure that you have many other important priorities at work to take care of. But, the issue, I want to raise here, is also equally important for our office staff. The reason for which I am writing this letter is that our office does not have any cafeteria for its staff where they can go and sit to enjoy some snacks, drinks and food. Now, this would not really be much of an issue if they did not have to walk about 10-12 minutes to grab something for them when they need something to eat or drink during their short breaks and thus collectively waste many important work hours. Besides, going out like this just to get some snacks or get a cup of coffee is rather inconvenient for us, especially, when the weather condition is not favourable. Therefore, I would like to request you to set up a staff cafeteria in the large empty room at the corner of our office, which remains unused most of the time. That will make sure that our staff have at least one less issue to worry about when trying to be more productive and efficient at work. I hope you will consider the issue and arrange to set up a cafeteria soon. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Andrew Jones
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add subject and tense Original: Hope I did not catch you Suggested revision: I hope I have not caught you Why it matters: The formal sentence needs an explicit subject and a present-perfect form for the current situation.
- 2. Remove redundant adjective Original: many other important priorities Suggested revision: many other priorities Why it matters: Priorities are already important, so the adjective is redundant.
- 3. Use direct relative form Original: reason for which I am writing Suggested revision: reason I am writing Why it matters: The preposition and relative pronoun are unnecessary in this construction.
- 4. Use singular article Original: any Suggested revision: a Why it matters: A singular countable noun requires the article 'a' in this negative statement.
- 5. Use concise action phrase Original: go and sit to enjoy Suggested revision: sit and enjoy Why it matters: The shorter coordinated phrase preserves the intended action naturally.
- 6. Clarify intended purchase Original: grab something for them Suggested revision: buy refreshments Why it matters: The original pronoun is unclear, while 'buy refreshments' states the purpose directly.
- 7. Use natural time phrase Original: many important work hours Suggested revision: valuable working time Why it matters: 'Valuable working time' is the natural collocation for productivity lost during breaks.
- 8. Make items parallel Original: some snacks or get a cup of coffee Suggested revision: some snacks or a cup of coffee Why it matters: Removing the repeated verb creates a parallel pair of noun phrases.
- 9. Remove incorrect comma Original: especially, when Suggested revision: especially when Why it matters: No comma should separate 'especially' from the dependent clause it modifies.
- 10. Use natural weather phrase Original: weather condition is not favourable Suggested revision: weather is poor Why it matters: The revision is concise and idiomatic.
- 11. Use correct preposition Original: at Suggested revision: in Why it matters: A room located within the corner of an office takes the preposition 'in'.
- 12. Use formal result phrase Original: That will make sure Suggested revision: This would ensure Why it matters: The conditional form and formal verb suit a proposed change.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope I did not catch you I hope I have not caught you
- many other important priorities many other priorities
- reason for which I am writing reason I am writing
- any a
- go and sit to enjoy sit and enjoy
- grab something for them buy refreshments
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter makes a clear request, explains the practical inconvenience for staff, and proposes a plausible location for a cafeteria in an appropriately respectful tone. However, the required points about what colleagues have said and the writer's own feelings are conveyed only indirectly, while verbose phrasing and punctuation weaken precision. State those two perspectives explicitly, then organise the request and supporting details into focused paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, but colleagues' reported views and the writer's personal feelings are only indirectly developed.
Explicitly report what several staff members have said and state a personal reaction before presenting a more detailed cafeteria proposal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses logically from the problem to its consequences and a solution, though the single paragraph and some repetition reduce clarity.
Divide the letter into an opening request, staff feedback and personal response, practical proposal, and concise closing.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for discussing workplace inconvenience and productivity, but several phrases are wordy, repetitive, or unnatural.
Use concise expressions such as buy refreshments, lose productive time, and adverse weather, while avoiding repeated references to the issue.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with reasonable control, although sentence fragments, unnecessary commas, and awkward pronoun choices occur.
Write a complete opening sentence, remove commas that separate essential clause elements, and keep references to staff consistently plural.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The office where you work does not have a cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager requesting that a cafeteria be set up. In your letter:
- say what you have heard from staff about the inconvenience
- explain how you feel about it
- give suggestions for setting up a cafeteria
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.