Developed countries often give financial aid to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty so developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Do you agree or disagree? What other kinds of aid could be provided to those countries?
Sample Response
Developed nations are often seen providing economic assistance to the third world nations. However, it does not always help in reducing poverty and therefore it is argued that less affluent nations must be provided with an alternatives form of aid. This essay discusses why poor countries can be better off from such assistance and types of help that can be offered.
One of the main reasons why developing nation should be assisted in other ways is because money can solve problems only for the temporary period. It is not a long-lasting approach to tackling poverty. To illustrate, a developed nation can build schools for poor nations but the expenses that incur later in regards to student's fees and teacher's wages may force to close the institution. This is because foreign aid may not be able to support for longer periods. Thus, it is highly essential that developed countries should find alternatives when helping the poorer nations.
There are different kinds of aids that affluent nations can provide to address this problem. First and foremost, young people could be given necessary training in various fields such as technology, modern agriculture, teaching, technical skill, communication etc. This helps them to find employment in their own countries or they can apply jobs to other rich nations. Another important option is investing in prosperous and promising sectors in the poor nations. If first world nations such as the USA opens its companies in third world countries like India, Pakistan, Nepal etc. many people can be highly benefited as such industries can create many local jobs.
In conclusion, there are many advantages if rich nations can provide alternative forms of aids instead of capital because financial support is only the short term approach to tackling the issue. In future, it is suggested that such new approaches need to be continued.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use current terminology Original: the third world nations Suggested revision: developing nations Why it matters: This is a more neutral and concise term in formal writing.
- 2. Clarify the subject Original: it does not always help in reducing Suggested revision: financial aid does not always reduce Why it matters: The explicit subject removes the unclear pronoun reference and creates a direct verb phrase.
- 3. Correct adjective form Original: alternatives Suggested revision: alternative Why it matters: The adjective modifying the singular noun should not be plural.
- 4. Correct collocation Original: better off from such assistance Suggested revision: better served by such assistance Why it matters: The replacement forms a natural collocation for receiving more effective help.
- 5. Add the article Original: and types of help Suggested revision: and the types of help Why it matters: The definite article is needed because the sentence refers to the particular forms of help discussed next.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: nation Suggested revision: nations Why it matters: The general statement requires a plural count noun.
- 7. Use natural phrase Original: for the temporary period Suggested revision: in the short term Why it matters: This is the idiomatic expression for a solution that works only temporarily.
- 8. Complete verb meaning Original: support for longer periods Suggested revision: provide support over longer periods Why it matters: The verb support needs an object here, so provide support expresses the intended meaning clearly.
- 9. Remove redundancy Original: highly essential Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: Essential already expresses an absolute degree, making highly redundant.
- 10. Use subjunctive form Original: countries should find alternatives Suggested revision: countries find alternatives Why it matters: After it is essential that, formal English uses the base form find.
- 11. Use uncountable aid Original: aids Suggested revision: aid Why it matters: Aid is uncountable when it means assistance in general.
- 12. Use plural form Original: skill Suggested revision: skills Why it matters: The list refers to fields containing multiple practical skills, so the plural is appropriate.
Suggested Rewrites
- the third world nations developing nations
- it does not always help in reducing financial aid does not always reduce
- alternatives alternative
- better off from such assistance better served by such assistance
- and types of help and the types of help
- nation nations
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response takes a clear position, answers both parts of the question, and organises relevant alternatives such as training and investment into a logical progression. Its main limitation is recurring inaccurate word choice and grammar, which makes otherwise sensible explanations sound awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each proposed form of aid more precisely while correcting collocations, count nouns, agreement, and missing sentence elements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the case against financial aid and alternative forms of assistance are addressed with relevant explanations and examples.
Explain more precisely how each alternative would create lasting poverty reduction and avoid the unclear school example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Use referencing more precisely and rely less on formulaic transitions so connections between claims are more natural.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss development and employment, but recurring collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Correct combinations such as 'alternative forms of aid,' 'apply for jobs,' and 'benefit many people,' and avoid treating 'aid' as countable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence structure occur regularly.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and complete clause structures, especially around passive constructions and examples involving countries or companies.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Developed countries often give financial aid to developing countries, but it does not solve poverty so developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. Do you agree or disagree? What other kinds of aid could be provided to those countries?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.