The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is said that support funds that are given to third world countries will not solve the poverty issue and therefore developed countries should think of other kinds of help, which are more effective. To a certain extentpoint, I would agree that there should be alternative forms of helpan alternative kind of help for the poor countries, but financial support would also be needed for a short perioda short time period. Many experts believe that financial supportsupports that are given to poor countries are not effective and efficient; therefore there should be other forms of help that should be consideredother kinds of help which could be considered. Firstly, it is a fact that illiteracy has become one of the major issues in poor countries, and developed countries could send some of their teachers to improve the education system there. It is hoped should the literacy rate increase, the number of unemployment will gradually reduce. Secondly, people in poor countriespeople of the poor countries are suffering due to the poor quality of the healthcare systemlow quality of the health system there. Building better-equipped hospitalsmore qualified hospitals and improving the quality of the medical staffstaffs would be an effective way to help them. LastlyAnd lastly, many third world countries have poor infrastructurea bad infrastructure and public transportation facilities. By building more roads and improving the public transporttransports there, it is hoped that people of these poor countries would be more productive as they will have easier access to their workplaces. It can be seen that all of the alternative ideas are long term projects, and people would only see the improvement after at least ten or fifteen yearsafter ten or fifteen years minimum. For a short period of time, financial aid is still needed by the third world countries; as governments could not provide decent health and education system, and many people are starving and sick. However, since corruption is also a serious problem in poor countries, strict monitoring ofover the financial support should be a priority to ensurea priority, to ensure that the funds are appropriately utilisedthe fund is appropriately utilised. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that financial aidaids given by advanced countries to poor nations would not be the best solution to the poverty issuesolution in solving the poverty issue. However, since resolving poverty problem would be a long term project, financial help should also be given for a short period of time, but it should be strictly controlled.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops several relevant forms of long-term assistance while explaining why tightly controlled financial aid remains necessary in the short term. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in grammar and word choice, compounded by an almost entirely unbroken paragraph structure. Prioritise clearer paragraphing and edit plural, article, and collocation errors so the strong argument reads more fluently and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The qualified position is clear throughout, and both alternative assistance and the continuing short-term role of financial aid are well developed.
Add a more concrete example of how one proposed intervention would reduce poverty to make the support even more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through alternative measures and short-term aid, but the lack of clear paragraph divisions weakens the overall organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main stage of the argument, and the conclusion into purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, although recurring inaccurate collocations and plural forms reduce precision.
Revise combinations such as financial support, medical staff, public transport, and unemployment figures for more natural expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, but errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and clause construction recur.
Proofread complex sentences for noun form and clause accuracy, especially constructions beginning with it is hoped and sentences joined by semicolons.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.