A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Sample Response
(Support the factory establishment) People have argued about the plan of building a factory near the residential area. Some people think that it will bring many benefits for the local society, while others believe that it will have a negative effect on the environment. The following essay will discuss in details about the advantages and disadvantages of it.
On the one hand, it is true that building a new factory near the local residential area will bring a lot of benefits for many parties. Firstly, it will generate a lot of job opportunities for the local people. It is common that a factory will absorb many employments, and for efficiency, it will give priority in hiring the local people. Secondly, the plan will boost the economic development of its' surrounding area. Many investors will build mini market, gas station or restaurant as many of the factory's workers will seek these commercial places. As a result, it will positively affect the real estate business of the surrounding area as well.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that the plan could also bring negative effects to the society and to the environment. It is a fact that many factories are generating wastes and they could create harmful effects to the local environment. For example, the waste water from the factory might be directly flown into the local river and contaminated the surrounding environment. And then, the factory might also generate some smokes which might be a treat for the local people. These people might have some serious respiration problems due to inhaling the polluted air. Therefore there should be a clear regulation and strict monitoring over it in the future.
In conclusion, it is a fact that the plan of building a factory near a residential area will create some pros and cons. In my opinion, I do believe that the positive sides of the plan outweigh the negatives, as long as the plan follows the government regulation and it is clearly monitored by the authority.
(Written - by Darwin Lesmana)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun complement Original: argued about the plan of building a factory Suggested revision: argued about the plan to build a factory Why it matters: The noun “plan” is naturally followed by an infinitive in this context.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: benefits for the local society Suggested revision: benefits to the local community Why it matters: “Benefits to the local community” is the natural phrase for positive local effects.
- 3. Fix verb pattern Original: discuss in details about Suggested revision: discuss in detail Why it matters: “Discuss” takes a direct object and the fixed phrase is “in detail.”
- 4. Improve possessive structure Original: the advantages and disadvantages of it Suggested revision: its advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: The possessive determiner creates a clearer and more concise reference to the plan.
- 5. Refine the phrase Original: benefits for many parties Suggested revision: benefits to many groups Why it matters: “Benefits to” is the correct collocation, and “groups” is clearer than “parties” here.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: job opportunities for the local people Suggested revision: job opportunities for local people Why it matters: The article is unnecessary when referring generally to local residents.
- 7. Correct possessive form Original: its' surrounding area Suggested revision: the surrounding area Why it matters: “Its'” is not a valid possessive form, and the definite noun phrase is clearer here.
- 8. Use parallel plurals Original: mini market, gas station or restaurant Suggested revision: minimarkets, petrol stations, or restaurants Why it matters: Plural nouns are needed to describe the multiple businesses that investors may establish.
- 9. Fix verb choice Original: seek these commercial places Suggested revision: use these businesses Why it matters: Workers use or patronise businesses rather than “seek commercial places.”
- 10. Fix prepositions Original: negative effects to the society and to the environment Suggested revision: negative effects on society and the environment Why it matters: The noun “effects” takes the preposition “on,” and the general nouns need no articles.
- 11. Fix tense and noun Original: are generating wastes Suggested revision: generate waste Why it matters: The simple present fits a general claim, and “waste” is uncountable here.
- 12. Fix preposition Original: to Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The standard collocation is “effects on” something.
Suggested Rewrites
- argued about the plan of building a factory argued about the plan to build a factory
- benefits for the local society benefits to the local community
- discuss in details about discuss in detail
- the advantages and disadvantages of it its advantages and disadvantages
- benefits for many parties benefits to many groups
- job opportunities for the local people job opportunities for local people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers every part of the task, presents a clear conditional endorsement, and supports both sides with relevant employment, economic, environmental, and health examples. Its main limitation is recurring language inaccuracy, which occasionally makes otherwise sensible points sound unnatural. Prioritise editing collocations and grammatical forms, especially countability, agreement, possessives, and passive constructions, while keeping the current balanced structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are developed with relevant examples, and the conditional support for the factory is clear.
Explain more precisely why regulation and monitoring would be sufficient to make the benefits outweigh the risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with effective overall sequencing of the two sides and conclusion.
Reduce formulaic signposting and strengthen the links between each example and the paragraph's controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as "absorb many employments," "generate some smokes," and "respiration problems" with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, though errors in agreement, countability, possessives, and passive forms recur.
Proofread for plural forms, subject-verb agreement, apostrophes, and accurate passive constructions in every paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.