Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is a good trend, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Corporate sponsorship in sports is a common trend in modern times. Many indicate that it is a good trend, while others are of the opinion that there are drawbacks to this. This essay will discuss both points of view and argue in favour of the benefits of brands sponsoring sports.
On the one hand, when a company sponsors sports and individual athletes, it can increase interference. That is to say that the company often expects favour and if the event is sponsored by a big company, then it is likely that they will try to interfere in the working of the event. They, for instance, want to arrange the schedule of the tournament according to their design or shoot advertisements with athletes in the middle of the event, which in turn, translates the tournament into a marketing event.
On the other hand, without sponsorship from companies, many sporting events may not take place. It is difficult for many organizers to meet expenditures, so it is important that companies assist these events so that they can continue to entertain the public. For example, there are many events like the Olympics or World Cup Football which would not be successful without the funding of big corporations. Moreover, corporate sponsorships are crucial for attracting young talents and building more sports facilities all around the country. Without their money and support, spreading sports and making it popular among young people would have been much more difficult.
In my opinion, I feel that financing sports by companies and big brands is a positive trend. This is because sponsorship is the mutual benefit of both parties. In simple words, sponsors often provide athletes with clothing and equipment free of charge for advertising purposes.
In conclusion, corporate sports sponsorship has both positive and negative aspects. However, after a thorough analysis of both sides, I believe that sponsorship is a positive trend because it reaps advantages for both parties and spreads the popularity of sports all around the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Supply a clear subject Original: Many indicate Suggested revision: Many people believe Why it matters: “Many” needs a stated plural noun, and “believe” introduces the opinion naturally.
- 2. Use natural cause phrase Original: it can increase interference Suggested revision: it can lead to greater interference Why it matters: Sponsorship leads to interference rather than increasing it directly.
- 3. Clarify expected treatment Original: expects favour Suggested revision: expects favourable treatment Why it matters: The revision identifies what kind of advantage the company expects.
- 4. Match company reference Original: then it is likely that they will try Suggested revision: then the company is likely to try Why it matters: The singular company should not be referred to by the unexplained plural pronoun “they.”
- 5. Use event operation term Original: working of the event Suggested revision: operation of the event Why it matters: “Operation” is the natural noun for how an event is run.
- 6. Clarify company preference Original: according to their design Suggested revision: according to its preferences Why it matters: The revision uses a natural expression and agrees with the singular company.
- 7. Use transformation verb Original: translates the tournament into a marketing event Suggested revision: turns the tournament into a marketing event Why it matters: “Turn into” expresses transformation, whereas “translate into” is unsuitable here.
- 8. Correct expense collocation Original: meet expenditures Suggested revision: cover expenses Why it matters: Organizations cover expenses rather than meet expenditures.
- 9. Use talent as mass noun Original: young talents Suggested revision: young talent Why it matters: “Talent” is normally uncountable when referring collectively to promising athletes.
- 10. Fix number and collocation Original: spreading sports and making it popular Suggested revision: promoting sport and making it popular Why it matters: The singular mass noun agrees with “it,” and “promoting sport” is the natural expression.
- 11. State mutual benefit clearly Original: sponsorship is the mutual benefit of both parties Suggested revision: sponsorship benefits both parties Why it matters: The revision directly states that each party gains from the arrangement.
- 12. Correct benefit collocations Original: reaps advantages for both parties and spreads the popularity of sports Suggested revision: brings benefits to both parties and increases the popularity of sport Why it matters: Sponsorship brings benefits and increases popularity; it does not reap advantages or spread popularity.
Suggested Rewrites
- Many indicate Many people believe
- it can increase interference it can lead to greater interference
- expects favour expects favourable treatment
- then it is likely that they will try then the company is likely to try
- working of the event operation of the event
- according to their design according to its preferences
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, consistent support for sponsorship and its logical discussion of commercial interference alongside funding, facilities, and athlete support. Its main limitation is that the negative side is narrower and some claims, particularly about major events, are stated too absolutely; a few awkward expressions also reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to compare a more fully developed disadvantage directly with the financial and participation benefits before confirming the final judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is sustained, with relevant support, although the disadvantage discussion is less fully developed than the benefits.
Develop a second distinct drawback or examine the seriousness of commercial interference, then weigh it explicitly against the funding benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through opposing views, the writer’s opinion, and a conclusion, with clear paragraph focus and generally effective cohesion.
Integrate the short opinion paragraph more closely with the preceding benefits discussion to reduce slight repetition before the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and topic-specific, though several collocations and expressions are awkward or imprecise.
Replace phrases such as “increase interference,” “translates the tournament,” and “sponsorship is the mutual benefit” with natural academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is generally controlled, with occasional agreement, reference, and tense errors that do not impede meaning.
Check singular-plural reference and conditional tense choices, particularly when discussing companies, sponsorship, and hypothetical outcomes.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is a good trend, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.