A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Sample Response
(Oppose the factory establishment) To meet the demand of increasing population large companies, factories, etc are growing faster than any other past time. New factory means new job opportunity. Again, a new factory means more pollutions and a new threat to the environment. In the whole, new factories bring good opportunities to a community but the risk it creates by increasing the environment pollution is too much. In my opinion, the benefits of having a factory near my community are out-weighted by the risks. That is why I strongly oppose the establishment of a new factory near my community. It is true that a new factory offers many positive things to the people. For example, a new factory creates lots of job vacancies as well as many potential employment opportunities. It also creates small business opportunities surrounded the factory. The authority of the factory improves the transportation and communication systems of the area. It is often observed that a locality having a large factory or industry offers better economic freedom than an ordinary urban area.
But I believe, people of my locality are happy with their current economic condition. My community is a beautiful and calm area with almost ignorable pollution. My community would be harmed by a large factory. In particular, the factory will destroy the calm and neat environment as well as will increase the air, water and sound pollution. In the long run, the environment will be seriously hurt and people's health will be affected. Again the newly created factory will make the community crowded. To accommodate more workers more homes will be needed. I don't want to see too many cheaply constructed townhomes in my locality.
I heartily believe this growth will change my community too much. I was born here and most of my memories regarded of the area. I love my community very much. I feel that dangers of the factory are greater than the benefits. So I would strongly oppose the idea of establishing a factory near my community.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove planning note Original: (Oppose the factory establishment) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The parenthetical planning note should not appear in the submitted essay.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: pollutions Suggested revision: pollution Why it matters: “Pollution” is uncountable in this general meaning.
- 3. Correct linking phrase Original: In Suggested revision: On Why it matters: The fixed summary expression is “on the whole.”
- 4. Match plural subject Original: the risk it creates Suggested revision: the risks they create Why it matters: The plural subject “factories” requires plural nouns and a plural pronoun.
- 5. Use adjective form Original: the environment pollution Suggested revision: environmental pollution Why it matters: The adjective “environmental” must modify “pollution.”
- 6. Correct verb spelling Original: out-weighted Suggested revision: outweighed Why it matters: The correct past participle is the single word “outweighed.”
- 7. Use precise benefit phrase Original: positive things to the people Suggested revision: benefits for local residents Why it matters: This wording identifies both the advantages and the affected people more precisely.
- 8. Remove repeated meaning Original: lots of job vacancies as well as many potential employment opportunities Suggested revision: many employment opportunities Why it matters: Job vacancies and employment opportunities express the same idea.
- 9. Correct location phrase Original: surrounded Suggested revision: around Why it matters: “Around” expresses location, while “surrounded” cannot modify opportunities this way.
- 10. Name management naturally Original: The authority of the factory Suggested revision: The factory's management Why it matters: “Factory management” is the natural term for the people making these decisions.
- 11. Use conditional possibility Original: improves the transportation Suggested revision: could improve the transportation Why it matters: The proposed factory has not yet been built, so the benefit is a possibility.
- 12. Fix reporting clause Original: But I believe, Suggested revision: However, I believe that Why it matters: The reporting verb needs “that,” not a comma, before its clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- (Oppose the factory establishment) Delete
- pollutions pollution
- In On
- the risk it creates the risks they create
- the environment pollution environmental pollution
- out-weighted outweighed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear opposition to the factory and relevant coverage of employment, local business, infrastructure, pollution, health, crowding, and housing. Its main limitation is language accuracy: frequent word-form, article, agreement, and collocational errors make otherwise understandable points sound imprecise, while the opening paragraph is overloaded. Prioritise separating the introduction from the advantages and rewriting the environmental case with precise cause-and-effect language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response discusses relevant benefits and drawbacks and maintains a clear opposing position, with the environmental and community costs developed more fully.
Explain more directly why the stated employment and infrastructure benefits would not compensate for the long-term local harms.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall movement from benefits to drawbacks and conclusion is clear, but the introduction and advantages are crowded into one paragraph and linking is repetitive.
Use four focused paragraphs: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, with one clear topic sentence for each.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but frequent inaccurate phrases such as ‘more pollutions’, ‘ignorable pollution’, and ‘memories regarded of the area’ reduce control.
Use precise expressions such as ‘greater pollution’, ‘negligible pollution’, and ‘most of my memories are connected with this area’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent article, agreement, comparative, and sentence-construction errors remain evident despite clear meaning.
Review singular countable nouns and parallel verb structures, especially in sentences listing the factory’s environmental effects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.