Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Many believe that multiplex & cinema is on dying spree and eventually, the cinema will die his own death, due to shift in Technology, which has literally bring cinema at Home. I am sort of in opinion that, actual movie lovers will never forget big screen. May, the number will be on downward trend and in the business context, it will not be as profitable as in last few decades.
Still, the charm of cinema is never going to die. As an individual, I always love to watch movies on the silver screen, the reason being is, fill joy of a movie can only be possible with theatre, no one is there to disturb & you can uninterruptedly enjoy or feel the story line. One always rates a movie better if he has seen it on a big screen.
However, another aspect is also somewhat true that cinema a is on the decline. Innovation and upscaling in Technology are the prime reasons, which make people think that the era of Silver Screen is bound to die. Technology has brought the big screen at home with better sound systems, big LED screens & most importantly the ease of watching at the comfort of home.
On a high note for the big screen, the best part is, no one can watch latest flicks at home & this will make sure that people keep coming to the big screen for watching the latest work of their favourite stars.
Summing up, favour for big screen may decline, in reality, it is never going to die in next decade or so.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard expression Original: sort of in opinion Suggested revision: of the opinion Why it matters: The standard phrase is 'be of the opinion'.
- 2. Choose natural adjective Original: actual Suggested revision: true Why it matters: 'True' naturally expresses the intended idea of committed enthusiasts.
- 3. Add article and precision Original: forget big screen Suggested revision: abandon the big screen Why it matters: The definite article is required, and 'abandon' expresses the intended behaviour more accurately.
- 4. Use adverbial comparison Original: rates a movie better Suggested revision: rates a movie more highly Why it matters: A rating is expressed with the adverbial phrase 'more highly'.
- 5. Avoid generic pronoun Original: if he has seen it Suggested revision: after seeing it Why it matters: The participial form avoids using a gendered singular pronoun for people in general.
- 6. Streamline the transition Original: another aspect is also somewhat true that Suggested revision: it is also true that Why it matters: The original transition is wordy and grammatically awkward.
- 7. Remove misplaced article Original: cinema a is Suggested revision: cinema is Why it matters: The article 'a' is misplaced between the subject and verb.
- 8. Use precise terminology Original: Innovation and upscaling in Technology Suggested revision: Technological innovation and development Why it matters: 'Upscaling in technology' does not naturally describe broad technological progress.
- 9. Fix relative clause Original: the prime reasons, which make Suggested revision: the main reasons that make Why it matters: A restrictive clause identifying the reasons should use 'that' without a comma.
- 10. Add article Original: era of Silver Screen Suggested revision: era of the silver screen Why it matters: The fixed expression requires 'the' and does not need capital letters.
- 11. Correct spatial phrase Original: brought the big screen at home Suggested revision: brought the big screen into the home Why it matters: 'Into the home' accurately expresses bringing the cinema experience indoors.
- 12. Use formal connector Original: & most importantly Suggested revision: and, most importantly, Why it matters: Formal prose should spell out 'and' and set off the interrupting phrase with commas.
Suggested Rewrites
- sort of in opinion of the opinion
- actual true
- forget big screen abandon the big screen
- rates a movie better rates a movie more highly
- if he has seen it after seeing it
- another aspect is also somewhat true that it is also true that
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear qualified disagreement and presents relevant reasons why cinema attendance may decline without disappearing entirely. Its main limitation is that the supporting ideas are brief and sometimes rely on personal or absolute claims, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. Develop each reason with a specific, credible example and edit sentences for accurate structures and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a consistent qualified position and relevant reasons, but several ideas are insufficiently developed or overly absolute.
Support each main reason with a specific explanation or example and qualify claims about what audiences can or cannot watch at home.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the overall progression is clear, although some long sentences contain loosely connected ideas and mechanical transitions.
Give each paragraph one clearly developed central idea and divide run-on sentences into accurately linked stages of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of cinema-related vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and word-form choices noticeably reduce accuracy.
Replace expressions such as on dying spree and fill joy with standard academic collocations, and check word forms before using less familiar vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses both simple and complex forms, but frequent errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation weaken control.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and accurate verb phrases, then proofread every sentence for articles and comma splices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.