Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
The appeal of cinemas showing filmsThe beauty of the cinema to show films on a wide screen with good sound quality has entertainedamused people for centuries. Some critics argue that people's enthusiasm forenthusiasm of people going to the cinemagoing to the silver screen is fading with time and might ultimately come to an end somedayarrive at an end someday. I agree with the critics and feel that with advancements in technology, the habit of watching films in cinemasthe trend of watching films in cinema may disappear soonmay pass on soon. Recent headways in Technology has provided enormous choices to humans to invest time in like high technology smartphone, LED HD display TV, Home theatre, Video games with excellent graphics and so on. Such numerous optionsSuch humongous possibilities for entertainment have left people with little timelittle time to people to spend watching moviesspend on watching movies at the cinema. Not just this, easily available and inexpensive DVD's and movie on the internet facilitates watching a movie anywhere, anytime and any number of times. With more and more such options emergingsuch options heading up, the urge to watch a motion picture at the theatre has gone down further. Nevertheless, with advancements in technology, the cinema has evolved so much that almost all the action movies and animated films are shown with high-class 3D effects and clear sound quality to maintain the craze of people in watching the movie at theatres. Further, to draw larger audiencesmore and more audiences, cinemas are giving discounts on movie ticketsdiscount offers on movie nowadays. But still, people visiting cinemasthe people visiting cinema are fewer thanfewer in number as compared to earlier times. To sum up, with rapid advances in technologycatching trends in technology, people are favouring electronic gadgets and DVDs over films shown in cinemasDVD's more over cinema movies. Despite so many endeavours by the cinema owners to attract audiences, the numbernumbers of people watching movies at the cinema are decreasing with time and may fade out soon.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement with the prediction and supports it through the growth of home entertainment, online access, and declining attendance despite cinemas’ technological and promotional responses. Its strongest feature is this relevant counterpoint; its main limitation is the absence of paragraphing, compounded by recurrent awkward wording and agreement errors. The priority is to separate the argument, concession, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and edit each sentence for natural collocation and grammatical agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons about technological alternatives, while cinema innovations and discounts provide a useful concession.
Develop one reason with a specific real-world example or clearer causal evidence showing why attendance will eventually become very limited.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses recognizably from the position through reasons and a concession to the conclusion, but the entire essay is presented as one paragraph.
Use separate introduction, main-reason, concession, and conclusion paragraphs, with each paragraph focused on one stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates enough range to discuss cinema and technology, but frequent awkward or inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as “recent headways,” “humongous possibilities,” “options heading up,” and “catching trends” with standard academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument clearly, although recurring agreement, plural, article, and possessive errors limit control.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms in phrases involving advances, smartphones, online movies, discount offers, and audience numbers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.