Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
The beauty of the cinema to show films on a wide screen with good sound quality has amused people for centuries. Some critics argue that enthusiasm of people going to the silver screen is fading with time and might ultimately arrive at an end someday. I agree with the critics and feel that with advancements in technology, the trend of watching films in cinema may pass on soon. Recent headways in Technology has provided enormous choices to humans to invest time in like high technology smartphone, LED HD display TV, Home theatre, Video games with excellent graphics and so on. Such humongous possibilities for entertainment have left little time to people to spend on watching movies at the cinema. Not just this, easily available and inexpensive DVD's and movie on the internet facilitates watching a movie anywhere, anytime and any number of times. With more and more such options heading up, the urge to watch a motion picture at the theatre has gone down further. Nevertheless, with advancements in technology, the cinema has evolved so much that almost all the action movies and animated films are shown with high-class 3D effects and clear sound quality to maintain the craze of people in watching the movie at theatres. Further, to draw more and more audiences, cinemas are giving discount offers on movie nowadays. But still, the people visiting cinema are fewer in number as compared to earlier times. To sum up, with catching trends in technology, people are favouring electronic gadgets and DVD's more over cinema movies. Despite so many endeavours by the cinema owners to attract audiences, the numbers of people watching movies at the cinema are decreasing with time and may fade out soon.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify cinema's appeal Original: The beauty of the cinema to show films Suggested revision: The appeal of cinemas showing films Why it matters: The revision expresses the source of cinema's attraction naturally.
- 2. Use the precise verb Original: amused Suggested revision: entertained Why it matters: Entertained is the natural verb for films and cinema.
- 3. Use the possessive structure Original: enthusiasm of people Suggested revision: people's enthusiasm for Why it matters: Enthusiasm takes for, and the possessive form is more natural.
- 4. Name the venue accurately Original: going to the silver screen Suggested revision: going to the cinema Why it matters: The silver screen refers to cinema as a medium rather than a venue people visit.
- 5. Use the standard expression Original: arrive at an end someday Suggested revision: come to an end someday Why it matters: Come to an end is the established expression.
- 6. Use natural viewing wording Original: the trend of watching films in cinema Suggested revision: the habit of watching films in cinemas Why it matters: Habit and the plural cinemas express the activity naturally.
- 7. State the decline clearly Original: may pass on soon Suggested revision: may disappear soon Why it matters: Pass on does not naturally describe a viewing trend ending.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: Such humongous possibilities Suggested revision: Such numerous options Why it matters: Humongous is informal, and options suits entertainment choices.
- 9. Fix the complement order Original: little time to people Suggested revision: people with little time Why it matters: Leave takes the pattern leave someone with something.
- 10. Remove the extra preposition Original: spend on watching movies Suggested revision: spend watching movies Why it matters: Spend time is followed directly by an -ing form.
- 11. Use a natural trend verb Original: such options heading up Suggested revision: such options emerging Why it matters: Emerging correctly describes new entertainment options appearing.
- 12. Use a quantity adjective Original: more and more audiences Suggested revision: larger audiences Why it matters: Audience size is expressed naturally with larger.
Suggested Rewrites
- The beauty of the cinema to show films The appeal of cinemas showing films
- amused entertained
- enthusiasm of people people's enthusiasm for
- going to the silver screen going to the cinema
- arrive at an end someday come to an end someday
- the trend of watching films in cinema the habit of watching films in cinemas
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement with the prediction and supports it through the growth of home entertainment, online access, and declining attendance despite cinemas’ technological and promotional responses. Its strongest feature is this relevant counterpoint; its main limitation is the absence of paragraphing, compounded by recurrent awkward wording and agreement errors. The priority is to separate the argument, concession, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and edit each sentence for natural collocation and grammatical agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons about technological alternatives, while cinema innovations and discounts provide a useful concession.
Develop one reason with a specific real-world example or clearer causal evidence showing why attendance will eventually become very limited.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses recognizably from the position through reasons and a concession to the conclusion, but the entire essay is presented as one paragraph.
Use separate introduction, main-reason, concession, and conclusion paragraphs, with each paragraph focused on one stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates enough range to discuss cinema and technology, but frequent awkward or inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as “recent headways,” “humongous possibilities,” “options heading up,” and “catching trends” with standard academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument clearly, although recurring agreement, plural, article, and possessive errors limit control.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms in phrases involving advances, smartphones, online movies, discount offers, and audience numbers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.