Some people think mothers spend most of their time raising their children, and therefore the government should support them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
Sample Response
It is certainly true that child-rearingchild rising is considered to be crucial worka crucial work of every woman. Although I accept that some women are still in need offew women are still need of government’s support, I believe not all women expect this. Gone are the days whenthose days, when women were typical homemakers or mothers. The roles of women have changed within contemporary familiesinside today’s contemporary families. In fact, the women are becoming the breadwinners of the family and men are taking up the role of house husbands. So how is this possible for a mother to become wholly responsible for children’s upbringing?upbringing! Educated women of this modern world share their responsibilities with their life partners and are also focusing on financial issues, career, savings etc other than the usual household chores and taking care of their children. It is believed that a child’s behaviourchild’s behaviour nowadays is shaped by schools and societythe schools and the society. So the parents just look after that their ward is getting educated in a good institution. In this way, the child becomes more independent and successfulgrows more independently and successfully. Therefore, it is practically not possible for women these days to spend more time in child raising. However, there are still women who are in dire need of government’s support. In some underdeveloped rural areassome rural areas which are not developed, women still take onup only the role of mothers. They may not be well educated and therefore cannot support themselves. The situation would be worse if she is divorced or a widow. In this case, women should be supported financially. For instance, Pettavaithalai village near Trichy city in India receives fundinga funding to support all the mothers with Rs 10,000 monthly. Consequently, the women and theirher children are now developing and becoming successful. Thus, somefew women should be supported by the government. In conclusion, while I accept that in a few areas of the worldin few areas of the world women still livelives in difficult circumstanceson the darker side and should be helped, I believe that the modernrevolutionised world has changed the role of most women and they do not depend on government’s support.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, qualified position: most modern mothers do not require state support, while disadvantaged mothers may need financial help. However, the reasoning relies on broad assumptions about women’s roles and offers only limited explanation of why government support follows from each situation. Prioritise developing fewer claims more rigorously, using specific causal reasoning and a credible, clearly explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports both sides of its qualification, although several claims are broad or insufficiently examined.
Develop the link between mothers’ circumstances and the need for state support more precisely, using a credible example with fuller explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from modern shared parenting to mothers who need assistance, but the single-block presentation and sometimes mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, main arguments, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs and use referencing or logical progression instead of repeated connective phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied vocabulary, including terms such as “breadwinners,” “upbringing,” and “dire need,” but recurrent collocation and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Improve control of common academic collocations and noun forms, particularly phrases such as “child raising,” “crucial work,” and “receive funding.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although frequent errors with articles, agreement, pronouns, and sentence construction remain noticeable.
Proofread systematically for subject–verb agreement, singular–plural consistency, articles, and pronoun reference, especially in sentences about women and their children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think mothers spend most of their time raising their children, and therefore the government should support them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.