Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub-continental countries. What do you think are the reasons behind this?
Sample Response
Cricket is a gentlemen’s game and it is originated in the United Kingdom. Although it is England's national game but people here in India and from other subcontinent countries like Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh follow this sport from the core of their hearts. How valued is this sport in sub-continent when compared to the national sport can be ascertained from a recent newspaper article where a contrasting comparison is being done among the prize money received by the man of the match of a cricket match and a hockey match. The difference is humongous, Rs 5 Lac in the case of cricket and a meagre sum of Rs 20,000 for the national sport. The popularity of cricket in sub-continent can be linked to team's performance in this sport, apart from this sport sub-continent teams do not have any presence in the world arena. For instance, popular sports like football, basketball, golf and even hockey which are our national sport but we haven't won a world cup ever since the legendary Mr Dhyan Chand have left this sport. So fans tend to support their team only when the team is performing well, where they can have their idols to imitate. The second reason I can make out pertains to a distant past when British ruled the sub-continent for around 200 years. At that point of time, the sub-continent didn't have its own identity. We have taken a lot of inspiration from that era e.g. our legal system, infrastructure design and even the sport of cricket. Even in those days British used to play cricket, it was then considered a sport of elite class and from there people from sub-continent develops a liking of this sport. Even though after the declaration of independence, India adopted its own constitution, laws but the influence of British era is quite evidently visible. And the same is true for our national game as well, we declared hockey as our national sports but citizens of our country still have an inclination toward cricket more than any other sports.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular possessive Original: gentlemen’s Suggested revision: gentleman’s Why it matters: The fixed expression uses the singular possessive “gentleman’s.”
- 2. Use active form Original: it is originated Suggested revision: it originated Why it matters: “Originate” is intransitive here and should not be placed in the passive voice.
- 3. Remove double conjunction Original: Although it is England's national game but Suggested revision: Although it is England's national game, Why it matters: A concessive clause introduced by “although” should not also use “but.”
- 4. Use standard spelling Original: Lac Suggested revision: lakh Why it matters: “Lakh” is the standard spelling for this South Asian number unit.
- 5. Add the article Original: sport in sub-continent Suggested revision: sport in the subcontinent Why it matters: The geographical noun requires the definite article here.
- 6. Use plural possessive Original: team's performance Suggested revision: teams’ performance Why it matters: The claim concerns the performance of several subcontinental teams, so the possessive should be plural.
- 7. Fix comma splice Original: in this sport, apart Suggested revision: in this sport; apart Why it matters: A semicolon is needed because the comma currently joins two independent clauses.
- 8. Show the reason Original: where they can have their idols to imitate Suggested revision: because successful teams give them idols to emulate Why it matters: The original “where” clause does not express the intended causal relationship clearly.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: I can make out Suggested revision: I can identify Why it matters: “Identify” is clearer and more appropriate for an academic explanation.
- 10. Add the article Original: when British ruled Suggested revision: when the British ruled Why it matters: “The British” is required when referring collectively to the people who ruled.
- 11. Fix the expression Original: At that point of time Suggested revision: At that time Why it matters: “At that time” is the standard expression for referring to a past period.
- 12. Use precise collocation Original: We have taken a lot of inspiration Suggested revision: We have drawn considerable inspiration Why it matters: English conventionally uses “draw inspiration,” especially in formal writing.
Suggested Rewrites
- gentlemen’s gentleman’s
- it is originated it originated
- Although it is England's national game but Although it is England's national game,
- Lac lakh
- sport in sub-continent sport in the subcontinent
- team's performance teams’ performance
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers two relevant and reasonably developed explanations, especially national-team success and the historical influence of British rule. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one dense paragraph, and frequent grammatical and collocational problems weaken clarity within long sentences. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the reasons into purposeful paragraphs and edit each sentence for agreement, tense, articles, and complete clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response identifies and explains two relevant reasons, with examples that generally support the argument.
Make the causal link in the prize-money example explicit and end with a concise synthesis of the reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a recognizable two-reason progression, but the single long paragraph and overloaded sentences reduce readability.
Use an introduction, one paragraph for each reason, and a short conclusion with clearer sentence boundaries.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including some less common items, but inaccurate collocations and word forms are frequent.
Use more natural phrases for historical influence, sporting success, and public preference, and avoid informal choices such as ‘humongous’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, and clause construction reduce control.
Break run-on sentences into complete units and systematically check verbs and articles in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub-continental countries. What do you think are the reasons behind this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.