Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Sample Response
The issue whether to attend a live performance or enjoy watching the same event on TV is a controversial one. However, in my opinion, an intermediate position can be taken. I base my suggestion on the following points. But before I begin I think I need to clarify what kind of live performances I like. I mostly attend concerts and prefer to see sports events on TV. First of all, watching an event on TV can bring many advantages. One can relax and settle in his favourite chair, eating a cake or having a drink. One does not have to spend time driving to the place where an event takes place. Also, he does not spend money on a ticket. Moreover, sometimes sitting in front of a TV set one is likely to see more interesting parts of a show more clearly with the help of an operator. Second, the weather is no longer of that importance. He does not care that it is rainy or chilly outside. From the other side, attending a live performance has many advantages too. Firstly, people can enjoy the songs as they are in a real time. Personally, I like to attend a live performance because they give much positive energy and many beautiful moments. Frankly, watching a show at home does not give me that. One can enjoy loud music, the closeness of his favourite stars and shout the songs he likes. In summary, I prefer to attend live performances in the case of a concert and show. However, in contrast, I prefer to watch sports events on television at home.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the preposition Original: issue whether Suggested revision: issue of whether Why it matters: The noun “issue” requires “of” before a whether-clause.
- 2. Use the right noun Original: suggestion Suggested revision: view Why it matters: “View” refers to an opinion, whereas “suggestion” implies a proposed action.
- 3. Clarify the medium Original: with the help of an operator Suggested revision: through professional camera work Why it matters: The revised phrase states more precisely how television can provide clearer views.
- 4. Use adjective form Original: of that importance Suggested revision: as important Why it matters: The comparative construction “no longer as important” is the natural grammatical form.
- 5. Use contrast linker Original: From the other side Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: “On the other hand” is the standard linker for introducing the contrasting advantages.
- 6. Remove the article Original: in a real time Suggested revision: in real time Why it matters: “Real time” is an uncountable expression and does not take an article here.
- 7. Fix pronoun agreement Original: because they give Suggested revision: because it gives Why it matters: The antecedent “a live performance” is singular, so both the pronoun and verb must be singular.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: the closeness of his favourite stars Suggested revision: proximity to their favourite stars Why it matters: “Proximity to” is the natural collocation, and “their” avoids an unnecessary masculine generic pronoun.
- 9. Fix the collocation Original: shout the songs Suggested revision: sing along to the songs Why it matters: People “sing along to” songs rather than “shout” them.
- 10. Generalise correctly Original: in the case of a concert and show Suggested revision: for concerts and shows Why it matters: Plural nouns are required because the preference concerns these event types generally.
- 11. Avoid duplicate contrast Original: However, in contrast Suggested revision: However Why it matters: The two transition markers perform the same function, so using both is redundant.
- 12. Match infinitive forms Original: or enjoy watching Suggested revision: or to watch Why it matters: The alternatives after “whether” should use parallel infinitive forms.
Suggested Rewrites
- issue whether issue of whether
- suggestion view
- with the help of an operator through professional camera work
- of that importance as important
- From the other side On the other hand
- in a real time in real time
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced preference by distinguishing concerts from sporting events and supports it with several relevant practical reasons. Its main limitation is that the one-paragraph format and mechanical transitions make the discussion feel list-like, while some expressions are unnatural or grammatically inaccurate. The highest-priority improvement is to organize the comparison into distinct paragraphs and develop one concrete example for each preference.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified opinion is maintained, and both viewing preferences are supported with relevant reasons.
Extend the argument with specific examples showing why concerts benefit from live attendance and sports benefit from television coverage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from television benefits to live-performance benefits, but paragraphing is absent and linking is mechanical.
Divide the response into an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, using fewer enumerative transitions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for discussing entertainment choices, though several expressions are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural collocations such as ‘in real time’, ‘a sense of energy’, and ‘sing along to the songs’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a useful mix of sentence forms with generally clear meaning, despite several article, pronoun, and clause errors.
Check agreement and reference in sentences such as the one shifting from ‘a live performance’ to ‘they’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.